You can if you want

You can if you want

Every week they blow a typical new-era penalty kick whistle and the footballers apologize on the pitch. The football players shrug their shoulders, turn to the microphone and say: “I can’t cut off my hand.” And I, from my couch, am not so clear. Because, let’s see, technically speaking, surgical practice has advanced enough that you can cut off your hand safely and with impeccable medical and hygienic precision, if you want to. Another issue is how committed you are to the team and where it is in your vital priorities to win this match and the real importance you attach to this penalty and to the fact that you have two hands but with strength you can. . Admit it, you’re fooling yourself. You can if you want.

In any case, regardless of the specific question of whether a hand should be cut off or not, these fantastic VAR interventions generate an army of victims: people addicted to video refereeing. Sooner rather than later, something needs to be done about these poor people. I already know some secret WhatsApp groups with VAR alert. There are mysterious individuals who still watch full football matches and take it upon themselves to warn the rest of the mischief caused by VAR. They pass it on to others, who don’t watch the matches but call in as soon as they receive the notification to enjoy the magical realism of refereeing. It won’t be long before secondary schools send out a circular to parents warning of the dangers, and there should be specific detoxification clinics for this.

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Indeed, as with any misfortune, some business ideas come to mind. Dirty Money: An application that alerts you to these moments without delay, for example. Or a TV subscription for judges’ shows only. We can choose between Movistar VAR, Movistar Liga and Movistar Liga de Campeones.

I’m also beginning to suspect that, after a while, VAR might happen what happens to porn, politics or bad soap operas: every time you have to go a little further to grab the audience’s attention. One day they’ll whistle a penalty kick because the ball rubs against a defender’s fingernails and we won’t have any influence to see it. It will seem natural to us because we will internalize it in our brain. It will be time to introduce a new twist or genre. Perhaps the future will include the adoption of psychological punishments, which are already being tried in some minority groups, one of which is without social security or contracts, where it is not unusual to cut off one’s hand. Because if you want, you can. I do not rule out that someone intends to destroy the most popular sport in the world by implanting ideas from less successful sports. If so, you are embroidering the job.

Finally, and in reality, there are a lot of things we think we want to achieve, but we also don’t put much effort into them. We, the privileged, are satisfied with the condition. Becoming a Nobel Prize winner, a football player or a millionaire is a bit like cutting off your hand. Consciously or subconsciously, we felt like it wasn’t worth the effort. If it is necessary to stop taking Torreznos, playing with the console or going out from Thursday to Saturday, pass. Honestly, we could complain or complain now, but I feel like we wouldn’t care so much then..

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