…What animal would you be?
Because it’s a Friday and because no one is really going to read this anyway, I’m breaking each match-up down to it’s most primal, animalistic simplifications.
REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES WILD ANIMALS OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:
A Bird After an Oil Spill (Milwaukee at Toronto):
Tragic.Â Victims of circumstance.Â Restricted by their own instinctive habits and the flurry of misfortune around them.Â Source of countless documentaries.
Anaconda, From the Movie, Anaconda (Boston at Detroit):
Obvious intentions.Â Predictable outcome.
Hamster on a Piano (Miami at Indiana):
Wtf.Â Lovable.Â Surprisingly entertaining.Â Philosophical questions about everyday ideas.
An Armadillo (Washington at Philadelphia):
Ugly, but surprisingly endearing.Â Curious.Â Kinda creepy.Â A welcome surprise, but you wouldn’t want to see one everyday.
A Siberian Tiger (LAC at Cleveland):
Intensely territorial.Â Majestic.Â Will rip your face off.
Tazmanian Devil (Looney Toons Variety) (New Jersey at Atlanta):
Completely insane.Â Whirling dervish.Â Awesome as a product of unpredictability.
A Run-of-the-Mill Jellyfish (LAL at Minnesota):
Initially intriguing, almost beautiful.Â Pedestrian.Â A dime a dozen.Â Irritating if you get too close.
A Monkey Wearing Glasses (OKC at Utah):
Bizarre, but makes more sense than you could possibly imagine.
The Photoshoppian Jackalope (Charlotte at Denver):
Fantastical.Â Nonsensical.Â Makes you ask the question: “What is reality?”
A Flock of Seagulls (Golden State at New Orleans):
I ran.Â I ran so far away.Â I just ran.Â I ran all night and day.Â Couldn’t get away.
A Wildebeest (Chicago at Sacramento):
Because the Kings still make me think of Keon Clark.