15 Footer 1.30.09: If You Could Be ANY Animal…

…What animal would you be?

Because it’s a Friday and because no one is really going to read this anyway, I’m breaking each match-up down to it’s most primal, animalistic simplifications.

REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES WILD ANIMALS OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:

A Bird After an Oil Spill (Milwaukee at Toronto):

Tragic.  Victims of circumstance.  Restricted by their own instinctive habits and the flurry of misfortune around them.  Source of countless documentaries.

Anaconda, From the Movie, Anaconda (Boston at Detroit):

Obvious intentions.  Predictable outcome.

Hamster on a Piano (Miami at Indiana):

Wtf.  Lovable.  Surprisingly entertaining.  Philosophical questions about everyday ideas.

An Armadillo (Washington at Philadelphia):

Ugly, but surprisingly endearing.  Curious.  Kinda creepy.  A welcome surprise, but you wouldn’t want to see one everyday.

A Siberian Tiger (LAC at Cleveland):

Intensely territorial.  Majestic.  Will rip your face off.

Tazmanian Devil (Looney Toons Variety) (New Jersey at Atlanta):

Completely insane.  Whirling dervish.  Awesome as a product of unpredictability.

A Run-of-the-Mill Jellyfish (LAL at Minnesota):

Initially intriguing, almost beautiful.  Pedestrian.  A dime a dozen.  Irritating if you get too close.

A Monkey Wearing Glasses (OKC at Utah):


Bizarre, but makes more sense than you could possibly imagine.

The Photoshoppian Jackalope (Charlotte at Denver):

Fantastical.  Nonsensical.  Makes you ask the question: “What is reality?”

A Flock of Seagulls (Golden State at New Orleans):

I ran.  I ran so far away.  I just ran.  I ran all night and day.  Couldn’t get away.

A Wildebeest (Chicago at Sacramento):

Because the Kings still make me think of Keon Clark.

Seth Carstens