NBA Oregon Trail: LeBron James Free Agency Edition

LeBron Oregon Trail Riley Dead


For the latest installment in our NBA Oregon Trail,  LeBron James makes his free agency decision. James is supposedly on vacation in Brazil for the World Cup, but in actuality, he’s taking prospective employers on the Oregon Trail to make his decision rather than sitting in a gym with Jim Gray. He’s learned his lesson, guys.

Let’s introduce the contestants. Pat Riley, Doc Rivers, Dan Gilbert, and Daryl Morey will all vie for Mr. James’ services over the next four years.

The trip got off to a rough start, as they broke a wagon tongue on the first day.

Riley, thought to be the favorite, stumbled out of the blocks.

At the first river, the group got help from a surprising source in Hawks GM Danny Ferry.

Doc Rivers and the Clippers would be the next to falter on the trip.

Riley’s magic from the Summer of 2010 was clearly lacking, as he struggled to keep up with the others.

LeBron’s decision to make Beasley a guide was questionable at best.

Morey would injure himself crunching the numbers on LeBron’s impact.

Shockingly, the Heat were the first to bow out of the running.

The Rockets used the wrong jersey in the photoshop, angering Donatas Motiejunas.

The Knicks chances of signing LeBron lay in a graveyard on the side of the trail.

The Clippers’ chances were not looking good, as Doc struggled to find the money he hid in the Staples Center locker room, and therefore there was only 8 million to offer.

The Rockets were slipping fast, only a Slim Thug miracle could save them.

Let Slim Thug down.

Beas’ trip ended shortly thereafter.

Dan Gilbert emails LeBron using Comic Sans, rekindling James’ memory of his letter from 2010. The Clippers take the lead.

The Cavs started to break down.

Big Baby and DeAndre Jordan’s Amsterdam escapades cast a hazy shadow on the Clippers’ future, LeBron grew weary.

Gilbert tried his damnedest to ruin the Cavs chances.

But in the end, the Clippers fell short.

Meaning LeBron James would return home to join the Cavs.

Trail don’t lie.

Robby Kalland

Robby covers college football for Cox Media and formerly covered the Atlanta Hawks for Hawks.com and SB Nation. He once broke a roulette table in half with Anthony Tolliver and was given a bottle of wine by Johan Petro in the same night.