We haven’t done a Lion Face/Lemon Face for over two weeks now, which may or may not be my fault, but no worries because the season is still young and I’m ready to make it up to you.
There were five games in the lovely NBA last night and while none of them will be remembered by the start of next week, there were plenty of fun things going on, like Gerald Green nearly hitting his head on the backboard and Terrence Jones lighting up the Boston Celtics. But instead of telling you all about them in the intro, let’s just get straight to the main event.
Lion Face: Gerald Green is a human pogo stick
Human aren’t meant to jump this high:
Lemon Face: Andre Drummond can’t make a free throw
It’s still early, but Andre Drummond is on pace to become the worst free throw shooter in NBA history. Last season, he shot 35.2% from the charity stripe and through 10 games this season, that number has dropped to a miserable 17.6%. Stephen Curry could probably make pull-up half-court shots at a better rate than that. Anyway, last night Drummond airballed a free throw against the New York Knicks, which has lemon face written all over it.
Lion Face: Amar’e Stoudemire is improving
Amar’e Stoudemire’s 12th season in the NBA has gotten off to a miserable start. In fact, in some ways, it can be related to Kanye West’s new Bound 2 music video: A total train wreck. But last night was slightly different because Amar’e posted season-highs across the board. He only scored six points and pulled down five rebounds, but hey, progress! At least the Knicks aren’t paying him a bucket load of money to play this season. Ha! Wait, you mean they are? $21.6 million?! WHAT? Well, at least he dunked on Luigi Datome, even though that is sacrilegious.
Lemon Face: Amar’e Stoudemire still can’t play defense
While Amar’e has never been known for his defense, this is terrible even by his standards. But in his defense, he was in perfect position to rebound what probably would’ve been another one of Josh Smith’s bricked threes on the season, so props for that…right?
Lion Face: Bosh gets Bosh’d
The student becomes the master.
Lemon Face: The Atlantic Division is terrible
The 76ers, Raptors, Celtics, Knicks and Nets have combined for 14 straight losses in a row, making the Atlantic division the laughing stock of the league. And the 76ers still have the best record amongst those teams at 5-7, which says it all.
after BOS/NYK losses, atlantic division will have collectively lost — no joke — 14 straight games. no regulation wins in the past week.
— Aaron McGuire (@docrostov) November 20, 2013
Lion Face: Terrence Jones is winning over Houston
Yay for career-highs! Terrence Jones scored 24 points last night on 10-for-12 shooting in 27 minutes of game time. He also pulled down nine rebounds and blocked two shots. And in his four games as a starter, he’s averaging 13.5 points, 10 rebounds and two blocks, which is everything the Rockets could ask from him at this point.
Oh, and yay for D-League alums playing well!
Lemon Face: Stephen Curry has a concussion
Stephen Curry has a “mild concussion” (whatever the hell that means) after being sat on by Marvin Williams and now, he has to sit out the Warriors’ game against the Memphis Grizzlies tonight. But with Toney Douglas and Stephen Curry out, the Warriors are left point guard-less, so Mark Jackson will have to get creative and make someone like Andre Iguodala their primary ball-handler, which could get interesting.
Lion Face: David Lee has got jokes
Tweet of the night!
Is that ironic that @StephenCurry30 is missing his own bobble head night because of head trauma???
— David Lee (@Dlee042) November 20, 2013
Now that I think about it, that is pretty ironic, David Lee. Poor Stephen Curry, though. Nobody wants to miss their own bobble head night.
Lemon Face: The Heat are unstoppable
According to Chris Webber, the Atlanta Hawks had no chance of stopping the Miami Heat last night as long as LeBron James did three things: Wake up, get on the bus and show up to the game.
All GIFs and images were found on Reddit/NBA.