Lion Face/Lemon Face 2/4/12: I’m Super. Thanks for Asking.

Damon Affleck. Matthew Benjamin. These men are as excited for the Superbowl today as they were for the enormous slate of games played yesterday. See!!!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmTtchbUuOQ

Lion Face: NICOLAS BATUUUUUUM

Career high in points (33). Career high in 3-pointers made (9). Portland wins by 20, putting the breaks on everyone’s obsessive back-patting of the post-Melo Nuggets.

LET’S WATCH:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTj97ZYA5C8

Lemon Face: Former Coach of the Year and Current Kobe Bryant Plaything, Mike Brown

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twdSdp1ERsI&t=2m50s

Relax, Mikey. Relax. Though as a Cavs fan, I should let Lakers fans know, Mike Brown tries to get himself ejected on purpose. It’s in his weird coaching bag of tricks. When he sees that his team needs a spark, he flips out. Hopefully the spark worked (in the long run).  (Also, if the video didn’t do it already, skip to about 2:50.)

Lion Face: Jeremy Lin, tied for New York’s most favorite person with Victor Cruz

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ed5KFr2YsI&hd=1

Easy buckets. Not so easy buckets. Hot hand. Big stage. Jeremy Lin gave Knicks fans something they’ve been looking for all season: a functional guard. 25 points on 10-19 shooting, 5 rebounds, 7 assists, and only 1 turnover. +13 on the night for Lin, +1000 in Knicks fans’ hearts for all eternity. (Sidenote/coincidence: Landry Fields was a -13 on the night. Hmm…)

Lemon Face: Weird, it’s the Wizards again.
The game started off dunk for dunk in the first quarter, each team trading a basket. The District of CoLOBia had a few shining moments against LOB Angeles, but those pretty much ended with 5 minutes to go in the 1st quarter. The lead expanded to 7 and the Clippers never looked back. They were up over 30 points on the Wizards by the time the 4th quarter got going. The Shooting Guard Formerly Known as How U got the most burn last night he has had since being teased on twitter for being “hacked” this summer. Chris Paul, Chauncey Billups, Blake Griffin, and DeAndre Jordan sat for the entire 4th quarter. Mo Williams and Reggie Evans went ahead and abused the Wizards for the rest of the game. The Wizards are terrible, and they need a massive massive massive shake up. Otherwise, the only way they brush .500 is if they play the Bobcats for the rest of the season. And let’s be honest, that wouldn’t even guarantee it.

La visage du Lion: Tony Parker, qui a devenu l’homme avec le plus de passes aux autres Spurs dans l’histoire.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt3a7n6LcWM&hd=1

Bien fait, Tony. Bien fait.

Lemon Face: The NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks
As much as I’m OK with the Mavs losing to the Cavs… guys. You JUST won a title. You can’t lose to a team that had the 2nd worse record in the league last year. I don’t care how good Kyrie and Andy are (note: yes, yes I do), you gotta take care of business on your way back to the playoffs. At least Delonte is still awesome.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/StepienRules/status/165944735192711172″]

Lion Face: Non All-Star All-Stars Kyrie Irving and Anderson Varejao
With Andy back this season after being out most of last year with an injury, it’s basically like the Cavs got the two best picks in last year’s draft. This one-two punch has the Cavs sniffing a playoff seed after being the 2nd worst team in the league last year. Most Cavs fans would rather them not make the playoffs so that they could get a good lottery pick. But how can you be disappointed in your team as a fan when they’ve made THIS much progress in a year? And how can you not be excited for a premature playoff run when your #1 pick PG is playing better as a rookie than the previous #1 pick PGs from the past few drafts?

Lemon Face: Kevin Love, for breaking all our hearts by breaking Scola’s face
Dude. Not cool. Oh come on, Kevin. How about instead of celebrating like a Generation X Wrestler, you go over and apologize to Luis before getting suspended, OK?

Lion Face: DeMarcus Cousins, with his post game Lamb Face

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwD9swJDRQo

You’d think that a dude who just put up a monster 20/20 game and helped his team get a well-deserved overtime win would be a little more intense than that in the post-game interview, right? Who cares. Damn good show, Boogie.

Lemon Face: Hornets vs. Pistons and Bobcats vs. Suns
Outjostling one another for lottery positioning, or cruel trick the NBA schedulers are playing on fans? You decide.

Lion Face: Michael Redd, for reminding us all that he’s alive
17 points on 6-12 shooting (including 4-7 threes) in 23 minutes. And he started! I, personally, would love if Michael Redd were to be good again. With the era of the PG full in place, I feel as though the league needs a few more solid SGs roaming around, scoring baskets at will.

Amin Vafa

Amin grew up in Cleveland, lives in DC, and somehow still manages to love watching professional basketball.