I’m watching Shoot ‘Em Up on DVD before watching the Mavs-Warriors game. I’m a little torn as to which is more demented, Shoot ‘Em Up or the Warriors system. Between the two I may go insane.
Clive Owen is an unbelievable badass, though. The Inside Man features one of my absolute favorite monologues, ever. If Clive Owen were an NBA player, I’m pretty sure he’d be David West. Silent, but violent, baby. Okay, I’m drifting into Simmons-hood.
Oh, and I’ll freely admit the reason I’m so interested in this movie all of a sudden is with my new beard, I’ve had three friends tell me I look like a young Paul Giamatti. Not the most complimentary of comparisons, but yeah, I gotta admit. It’s kind of accurate.
Okay, enough of that, back to basketball.
LeBron proved again earlier why there is no one more terrifying with the last possession. No one. Not even Kobe. His ability to get to the rack at will is just too much.
How about 20, 16, and 6 from Paul? To go with 32 and 7 from West? Let’s see what Kobe’s got for the nightcap tonight. They actually need this game.
NBATV reporting Al Harrington has an injured hand. That’s not good.
Have I mentioned how pissed I am that baseball’s back? Couldn’t it stay dead for another month? This game really should be on ESPN. But instead we’ve got President Bush in a 2-0 slugfest. Awesome. I’m not kidding. Bush is doing commentary. We all wondered if ESPN could do worse with it’s commentators. Now we know.
I would love to see JET get back to form.
You know, Kidd really seems to have trouble with spacing on the break for the Mavs. He seems to run towards other guys’ lanes. Or maybe they’re running in his. I don’t know.
From Josh from Dinosty, on Kapono, who had a truly horrific game today: “He has had a truly embarrassing season, a complete failure by all accounts.” You remember that, fans, when you look for your team to sign a pure three-point shooter.
No one’s really noticed, but Dampier has had a great season. He’s really stepped it up. I actually want to see Dampier versus Shaq now to see if Damp could shut him up.
Uh-oh. The Mavericks look pissed. They’re hitting everything, from everywhere, and playing D. Oh, nice scoreboard work, NBATV. Just showed Golden State up 110-10. Nice.
Warriors can’t buy a bucket with Schrutebucks. And Kelenna is in! (D-LEAGUE!)
It’s an interesting matchup, Kidd’s on Davis, so Davis is posting him,but then they bring the double, which of course kills Baron.
Man, I don’t know why they bagged on Al Harrington. The guy is a huge all-around asset. Monte blocks Terry. This is “Ridiculously Talented Point Guard Blocks Everything” Day, apparently (Derrick Rose, #1 pick).
15-2 Mavs. Yikes.
Al Harrington is hoisting the team up on it’s back.
Man, Malik Allen has 6, Azabuike is attacking the basket, it’s a bench attack!
Captain Jack just took a three pointer from next to my house in Austin. I love the decision making. Kelenna with the 3! D-League! Represent!
Baron hits a three for an 8-0 run for the Dubs. Here they come. And Terry calls, “Match!”
The best part about the Warriors defense is that there are guys who just float free if they don’t have the ball. The Warriors don’t even care. They just focus on whoever has the ball. Meanhwhile, Captain Jack is warming up, and the lead is only three. Yes! Competitive basketball! I’ve been waiting for this all day!
Brandon Bass is going to have to produce if Dallas is going to have any shot at all down the stretch. Dizzle with the shake and bake, Jimmy Dolan style!
The Warriors are up! Incredible! Antoine…Wright… with the…finish? WTF?
Ah, Matt Barnes. Saved by Chris Webber for biggest waste of money by the Warriors organization this season.
Antoine Wright forces an air-ball by Captain Jack, and I’m in some weird universe.
Just found out Gasol’s out till at least Wednesday. So the Wizards game is up for grabs. I’ll check in on this one in between breaks.
Oh, goodness, Monte with the steal. When he gets one step on you out in transition, it’s over. He’s just goes plaid every time. Brandon Bass starting to get it together. The Mavs are immediately doubling the post, no matter who it is, and that means Biedrins scores. Wow. It should never be that easy for Biedrins. Jason Terry pretty much rotates looking to help, and looks like an idiot, even though it obviously wasn’t his man. Malik Allen just got lost.
Uh-oh, Radman is hot, Lakers 4-5 from the field. That’s not really the game the Wizards want to play. For as long as they live.
No, don’t show the Dirk injury again! Noooooo!
Monta Ellis is taking over. I don’t know what he has to do to get more recognition, but he’s earned it already. Howard nails it and one. Gets the lead back to 5.
Derek Fisher has 8 points, including a three a second ago. So that injury may not be “debilitating.” Kobe with another drive and kick, which I keep arguing is his bread and butter.
LockSmith heating up.
Warriors announce team would like to let you know they think the Kidd trade was a bad idea. Thanks for that breaking news, fellas. Did you hear Shaq got traded? What are your thoughts on Pau Gasol? Did you hear King Louis may be overthrown?
DeShawn thinks lifting the team on his back sounds fun, 17-16 Washington. Lakers no longer hitting everything. Tuff Juice with Radman in his face! Boom!
Why is there a South-African Airlines commercial on? Anyone, anyone?
Wiz by six. Radman cuts it in half. Radman LIVES on the kindness of double teams. The guy is pretty terrible at all other aspects of the game. Odom seems to run out of magic power. Caron just threw a hook whip pass. I can’t wait to see the Wiz at full strength in the playoffs.
Bynum’s going on the road trip this week.
WOAH! Lakers Sideline Reporter just said Arenas told him he would take a paycut to stay with Washington if they resign Jamison. What in the holy hell? That’s the exact OPPOSITE of what he’s been telling us all year!
Monta’s catch and shoot is smooth as butter. Butter, I tell you.
Kidd pump fakes, gets Baron in the air, leans in, and gets the call. Announcer says Kidd “violates the verticality space” of Baron. Um. Really?
Harrington working his ass off right now. Dubs by 7.
If I never hear the Lakers announce team ever again, I will be happy. They are my least favorite in the league. Lakers finish on a 11-3 run, Lakers, up 2 to end the 1st. Radman is taking the annoying white guy slot tonight.
Warriors are unstoppable right now, 9 point lead, on pace for 130, and running when they want to. Barnes has fallen apart this season, completely.
Oh, look, Walton decided to make an appearance for a few minutes. Five points off the bench. The Lakers have to be concerned with how easily the Wiz are getting to the line. Still up by 6, though.
Ah, and here comes Vujacic, the floppy haired little bastard. 9 points off the bench. Blatche slams down the offensive rebound. With Turiaf the only big man on the floor, they can do that all day.
Floppy Haired bastard puts the Lakers up by 8. I can’t wait to see him matched up with Bowen.
Turiaf is such a great energy guy for the Lakers, but he’s just not a heavy minutes guy. Farmar has great vision. That kid can make the jump next year. I like how Luke Walton dunks off of a great pass from Farmar, uncontested, then lands and smiles like a little kid.
Wait, Finley had 22? Houston. Seriously. He’s like 98 years old. Come on, guys.
Kobe’s got 5 assists, Lakers by 8, killing with the perimeter shooters. At some point the Wizards have got to stay with the outside shooters. DJ Mbenga alert!
Sorry for the updates, the two of you that are reading, got caught up giving Corndogg grief about the NCAAs being boring. NBA rules all.
Howard nails a great turnaround jumper to get the mavs within 6, but Captain Jack is just driving at will. Tempo’s getting nuts on this game. Lakers by 9 at the half, by the way.
Biedrins just got away with a huge pushoff, so apparently they don’t always get robbed on calls. Monta’s so fast, Kidd has no option but to foul. Warriors by seven with Monta going to the line.
Warriors announcer: “A rare turnover from Jason Kidd.” Um… might want to watch some other games this year, fellas, before you make statements like that.
Biedrins after that pushoff is really killing the boards, seems like he’s got his confidence. And he nails a bucket off the feed. A 7-0 run by the Dubs. Nothing coming from the Mavs bench.
Monta needs to work on translation on the pick and roll. He’s so good at catch and shoot and creating his own shot, it’s almost like he gets spooked when he has space. Bass is going to need to hit 15 for the Mavs to win this game. He’s got 8.
Oh, man, Azabuike has killer lift. He’s really hitting his stride right now this season.
Warriors up by 8 after three. The Mavs need a big run to get this. The Warriors have done really well at answering buckets. Even with as good as the Mavs are defensively, you can see the matchup issues the Warriors create because they don’t necessarily care if you defend or not. They don’t look for open shots.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, the Mavs still look clunky and out of sorts with Kidd at point.
Lakers take 90 seconds in the half and push it to a 15 point lead. If the Lakers shoot this well, there’s not much you can do, especially if you’re a defensive squad like the Wizards.
Kobe’s dishing really well tonight. He’s only got 8, but he’s looking for his teammates.
Um… Stevenson has hit three consecutive threes from the same spot. Here’s an idea, Lakers. Stand there.
MAKE IT FOUR! LOCK SMITH UP AND DOWN!
Quick note, Wiz. When Radmanovich outrebounds you? That’s a bad thing.
Warriors announcers: “If you can’t beat the Mavs without the Warriors, when are you going to beat them?”
Pretty much. Davis kills Tyron Lue. Can we start to admit that maybe, just maybe, experience at point guard isn’t as important as, you know, not sucking?
Bass with 13… mayb he can score 15 and them still not win. The Mavs can’t get a stop whatsoever.
The Lakers are kings at highlight reels created by double teams. Ronnie Turiaf is looking like he’s unstoppable, because no one’s in position to stop him. Great passing by the Lakers, though. Not enough is said about Odom’s passing. He’s either really foolish or brilliant.
Uh-oh. Davis limping on the ankle… you may remember it from… you know, his whole career. Looks like he’s fine, though, knock on wood.
Biedrins follows a Jackson miss fora dunk and the Oracle is roaring. Hey, look, Jason Kidd can still shoot! 11 points, 11 assists for Kidd. Howard is cold on a huge drive. They needed that.
Odom with 9, 8, and 5 in the third. He’s been playing so well. Which will make his failures in the playoff that much more maddening. Maybe this is the year, though.
The Lakers go to a full court trap? What is this, college? Stevenson, afreakinggain! 22 points for the Lock Smith! Chance for the Wiz to cut the lead to 3 or 2.
If Mason hadn’t stepped out of bounds, Stevenson was going to hit another one. Lakers must put this away in the fourth to aovid the DAGGER!
One point game.
Two fouls in two separate games on mismatched guys trying to deny the entry pass. Bizarre. Kobe does his thing and dunks it.
Stevenson goes down and is banged up, a guy that never flops. And the Staples crowd boos. Nice. Go back to your copies of Vogue, people.
Well, Bass has 17, the lead is 5. Make it 18 and 4.
This is downright sexy in the two games.
“You can sense pensiveness in the building” the Warriors announcers say. Lot of fouls tonight, in an important playoff-implication game.
Wow, Warriors missing free throws. Azabuike make it a six point game, as the Roaracle does a wave. Which is sad. Really guys? Howard finds his comfort spot, 30 for him.
The Paroxywife suggest I suse “Oh, Shortbus” everytime the Mavs clang a shot. I might do that.
Warriors by 7 on an alley-oop to Ellis to the back side
Brandon Bass and ONE! I told you the bench had to be huge! 20 and 5 for Bass!
Lakers by two after DJ Mbenga hits a shot. Yes, THAT DJ Mbenga.
Azabuike with a HUGE three after Kidd is backed down by Baron and forces the double team. So much for Kidd’s defense. He’s a liability against the big guards in the West. Azabuike is incredible tonight. Only 12 ,but all of them more important.
Howard with free throws to get it to 5. Mavs have to get a stop. Now. 3:23 to go.
Seven point game for the Warriors, one more score is killer. Azabuike! D-LEAGUE! D-LEAGUE UP IN THIS BIATCH!
DJ Mbenga with another shot? Walton with the score and the foul. Possible three point play. Sloppy pass from Mason. I haven’t been impressed with Mason this year. God, I wish Zero was back. Sasha tries flopping and the refs don’t fall for it, because, it’s Sasha. Mason takes a dumb three and misses. Wow, kid wants me to hate him.
The Paroxywife is joyous at Boom Dizzle’s arms. Seven point game with 2 minutes.
Monta does what only he can do. 30 points for Ellis. Sick. Howard and airball… SHORTBUS!
Nice. That should do it.
Paroxywife (on Baron’s airball): “Shortbus on my boy!”
1:08 to go, seven point lead. Just out of reach for the Mavs. Roaracle on it’s feet.
Ellis drive to Biedrins underneath. Ice. Thanks, Dallas, that’ll be all.
Lakers by four, trying to hold off the Wizards. This one’s gonna get nasty.
Warriors win by 10. Lakers up by 7, 6:41 to go. Wizards going for dumb shots. Kobe gets the roll, Lakers by 9. Sasha goes for another dumb foul. Nick Young with a nice long range J.
Kobe forces it, lead is seven. Wow, monster foul by the Lakers and they get away with it, and then Luke Walton cherry picks for a dunk. The Laker way.
Lead is 9.
DJ Mbenga is having a huge game. I’m perplexed. I swear to God, it says something that the Lakers couldn’t pull anything out of Kwame Brown. Phil Jackson is the Midas of crappy players.
Mbenga goes for a skyhook and reality comes back for a brief appearance. Nick Young with the 3, four point lead. Like Nick Young. He’s getting better.
DJ sits, after a fantastic job. It really is cool that these guys can have nights where they earn their pay. That’s great.
Good defense by Fisher on Young. And then Tuff Juice drains it in the eye of the defender. One possession game. The Lakers are playing the “I can’t rebound, but I can tap it out to my guards who are ALWAYS on the same spot on the perimeter” game, which is smart.
Nick Young, tie game. 2:30. Let’s go. It’s playoff time.
GREAT PLAY by Young. After tying the game, Walton misses a three from the corner. Rebound goes to the other side of the rim to Odom. Odom goes back up, and Butler creates the steal. Young grabs the ball and calls timeout before falling out of bounds. Awesome. 18 for Young.
Too much perimeter play by the Wizards, bad shot by Stevenson, Lakers in transition, Kobe slam for the lead.
And the Wizards are cold. 1:32 left.
Walton crashes the boards for the four point lead. Same old Wizards. No rebounding. Wow, Stevenson drives, Fisher blocks, gets the call, but the Wizards would have hit the three if the call hadn’t come. And the Lakers had a foul to give. When I say the Lakers just get everything to go their way, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s not their doing, it just goes their way.
Young with the 3! One point lead, 40 secs.
Kobe draws the foul on Stevenson, and we’ve got MVP chants. Thanks, LA. We weren’t aware. Gonna be three point lead with 33 seconds.
Wizards don’t take time. Lakers MOB them, and get away with it. Out of bounds, possession to Wizards. And NOW they take the timeout. Whew. This should be fun. I’m guessing a clanger off the back iron, to end this day where no upsets happen.
Young with 21. You can go to Young or Stevenson, maybe Tuff Juice. TUFF JUICE! TUFF JUICE! PUMP FAKE THREE TO TIE!
Caron Butler is a magnificent human being.
Guess who’s got the ball. FISH MISSES THE THREE ON THE DRIVE AND KICK, OVERTIME! SWEET BEAUTIFUL OVERTIME!
Odom goes to the rack, and misses, but draws the foul. Lakers are undefeated in overtime this year, announcer-man says.
Jamison takes over and draws the foul. Tie game.
Kobe 6 of 21 tonight. Wiz playing good defense on him. Nice management of the double teams to keep him out of it. Jamison gets thrown to the deck, no foul, but Odom loses it out of bounds.
I hate under the basket throw ins by the way. They’re awkward.
Young backs down Fisher, I scream, “What are you doing kid?!” on a fadeaway. He nails it.
Kobe says, “That’s my gig.”
Great D by Odom on Young on the perimeter, he misses the drive, but gets his own rebound and nails a jumper. Lock Smith with the 360 layup! Wiz by four. Turiaf on the rebound is fouled. God this is hard to keep up with. Lakers are forcing it.
Fisher forces it into a one point game. What foot injury?NICK FREAKING YOUNG. Career high!
Three point game, 1:16.
Drive and kick for the Lakers again, Young throws himself in front of Fish, he pump fakes, readjusts and hits! But his foot was on the line! Wiz by one!
You ever notice how Kobe never looks phased on the bench? He never looks intense, just kind of chilling out, drinking water. Cool, calm, and colleted. Versus KG who looks like he’s ready to kill someone and LBJ who looks like a puppy, Mamba is just ice.
Laker need good defense.
Nick Young throws it away. Rookie.
It’s Mamba time.
And the refs agree.
Fans chanting some strange combination of letters. Kobe hits the free throw for the lead.
Timeout Wiz. Gotta go to Young here, even after the mistake. Drive and kick with Young to Lock Smith, I say! And dumb commercials as I go into cardiac arrest. Can’t believe they gave Kobe that foul. Wait, yes I can.
Sasha’s in for Derek. Trying to put size on Young. Smart move for Jackson.
Had a foul to give. Gave it. And the Lakers announcers complain about ticky tack fouls, right on cue.
Sasha keeps Young away from the basket. Coach Jordan didn’t adjust and change the play call.
Shocker, Kobe hits both. They’re going to need another three… I shouldn’t write before stuff happens.
Wow. Kobe misses the second free throw, Walton gets the board, and gets it to Sasha. That’ll do it. Heartbreaker for the Wiz.
I’ll tell you this, Laker fans. You better pray your team doesn’t suffer at all with adjusting to Gasol and Bynum. Because this team is not great right now. Good win, though, to break the losing streak. Tough, tough break for the Wiz. Just had Young make one rookie mistake.
Oh, and Luke Walton throws down the rub it in your face dunk. Classy, bitch. Have fun getting swatted in the playoffs.
God I hope the Spurs piledrive these guys.