Things as Likely as the Celtics Having Serious Interest in Landing Stephon Marbury

* Tupac Shakur and Elvis,  both still alive, running a hot dog stand in downtown Boise, ID.

* Someone other than Rodney Dangerfield successfully executing a Triple Lindy.

* Paul Blart: Mall Cop topping the box office charts. Oh, wait. */cries for America

* Jerome James SuperStar: The Musical

* George Bush correctly pronouncing the word “nuclear.”

* Stephon Marbury getting a front office job with the New York Knicks.

* Me dunking on a 10′ goal.

* Me dunking on a 8’6″ goal.

* Me dunking a 7′ goal.

* Charles Barkley biting his lip when he is about to say something stupid.

* Che Guevara t-shirt becoming ironically, post-ironic and then acceptable gain.

* Robert Horry being elected to public office… in Phoenix.

* Skee-lo getting any of his wishes granted.

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