Dear Memphis Grizzlies,
This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write (in the last ten days). I know we’ve had some special times. Like the first game where OJ went off. And the game where we started to believe Marc Gasol was for real. That was nice. And who can forget when Darko tore his shirt? What a hoot!
And it’s not like you can say I haven’t stuck through the hard times since we started our relationship. I was by your side when you had lineups featuring Jaric and Buckner. I stood by you when everyone was making fun of you about Pau Gasol. You traded Javaris Crittenton and Kyle Lowry, putting all your eggs in Conley’s basket, and I supported you. I even tolerated the insane teasings toward the OJ-Mayo-As-A-Point-Guard fiasco, or as I like to call it, “The Turnover Manifesto.”
But this, I can’t stay with you for.
I begged you,Â pleaded with you. I used podcasts, blogposts, emails to people who know you, to try and steer you from this course of action. But you wouldn’t listen. And look what you have to show for it.
A seven foot pogo stick with a Twitter account.
Okay, fine you didn’t want Tyreke Evans. Lots of people question the 6’5” player with killer explosiveness with insane ability to get to the rim who also happened to come out of the same program as this year’s Rookie of the Year who was also a point guard and which happens to be located in the same city as your damn franchise ensuring that you would have at least had a player on the squad that someone would know. That’s fine. But what about any other prospect? Listen, I’m not the biggest fan of Ricky Rubio, but even if you had drafted him and done the smart thing insteaf of propogating the delusion like Minnesota is, you would have at least walked away with some serviceable pieces, Jordan Hill, and furthered your rebuilding cause.
Instead, with the #2 overall pick, the runner-up prize in the Blake Griffin sweepstakes, with the second highest pick in an admittedly weak draft, you selected a player who’s ceiling is what? Dikembe Mutumbo? Emeka Okafor at best? Those are both good players. But are they #2 overall players? Would you spend a second overall pick on a pure shot blocker with no offensive game? What am I saying? Obviously you would.Â You did.
So I’m going, Memphis. I’ll be around. Maybe we’ll see each other next season. I’m going to play the field for a while. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Charlotte, and I think they understand my needs better. They drafted a player that can actually do more than one thing at once. And in the end, I just don’t think I’m meant for just one team. I’m more a poly-fanatic.
I’d love to tell you that it’s not you, it’s me. But that’s a lie. It’s you. It’s you and your cost cutting. It’s you and your reluctance to seize the moment. It’s you and the fact that you actually had to have someone else turn down a trade that would have landed you Zach freaking Randolph.
I’ll call you when I reach my mother’s.
PS: SERIOUSLY? THABEET?!