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Zach LaVine cares not for gravity

Zach LaVine’s probably scoffing at the laws of physics. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Over the weekend, Jamal Crawford’s Seattle Pro-Am held an all-star weekend, featuring a slam dunk contest in which recent Timberwolves draftee Zach LaVine was a competitor. LaVine’s leaping ability was touted coming into the draft, peaking when a Vine of him making a 46″ vertical leap at a Lakers workout went viral. But what he did in Seattle was, just… Let me think of a way to best describe exactly wha-SYNTAX ERROR.

In the video above – courtesy of Ballislife – LaVine begins with the most nonchalant between-the-legs slam in history. He walks it off as if it were just a warm up. LaVine’s following slam was relatively simple, but his soaring ability made it look spectacular. It was as if he threw the ball up without knowing what he would do with it, but understanding full and well that wherever it would bounce, he’d be able to catch it and cram it home. Again, it didn’t look difficult for him whatsoever. LaVine continues with a full-rotation leaning windmill. No biggie. He then catches the rock off a self lob and goes behind the back with it. Not sure he’s even broken a sweat yet.

We get to some highlights of that other guy, before LaVine’s back and is lining up for a foul line dunk. Only he doesn’t even sprint from the opposite baseline. He begins winding up for take-off at about halfcourt, and launches from a step inside the charity stripe. He performs another full windmill with ease, smashing it through with such force that it’s not impossible to think he could have completed the dunk from two steps further. Okay, there’s no way he follows that one up, right?

*LaVine promptly throws down reverse between the legs dunk off a self lob*

So what did we learn today, kids? Zach LaVine does not have the legs of man. He is an attempt to prove that humans can fly without the help of a jet engine or wings. It’s said that when he leaps, he causes an earthquake on the opposite end of the globe. He wants nothing to do with gravity or any physical law we’ve been foolish enough to believe in all these years.

David Vertsberger

Chances are, you're older than David Vertsberger. You also care about obscure NBA players a lot less than he does.