Unless you are either a Timberwolves, 76ers, Hawks, Nets, Magic or Clippers fan, you might not have taken in any NBA action last night and if that was the case, I don’t blame you. Two of the games ended in a blowout, while the other ended with a Nets victory. So, yeah, it wasn’t one of the most memorable nights of the 2013-2014 season, but we still had highlights, injury updates, big performances and silly moments, so a Lion Face/Lemon Face is in order.
Lion Face: Blake Griffin’s skillz
You know what’s scary? When a 6-foot-10 power forward can do this:
Lemon Face: Mike Budenholzer is as bad as Jason Kidd
Jason Kidd tells his players to bump into him so that he can get a timeout, while Mike Budenholzer throws his clipboard at referees because he’s angry. Your Eastern Conference coaches, everyone!
Lion Face: Look at them Nets!
The Nets beat the Hawks last night, which means they are still undefeated in 2014. Shocking, I know. In fact, thanks to their latest win, they are now just one game behind the Pistons for the 8th seed and are owners of the longest win streak in the Eastern Conference. That streak is only three games long, but, hey, stop hating. The Nets are winning some games – albeit against some battered and bruised teams – and they’re moving their way up the standings. There is some bad news, though…
Lemon Face: Deron Williams’ left ankle
For the third time since November 15th, Deron Williams has sprained his left ankle. Originally, he was questionable for the Nets’ game against the Hawks, but he was a late scratch and will be re-evaluated later today to find out how long he could be out for, per ESPN. He’s already missed 11 games this season because of that wonky ankle, so this is kind of worrying.
Lion Face: Kevin Garnett’s new nickname for Joe Johnson
From now on, Joe Johnson will be referred to as “Joe Jesus” because:
A) It’s cooler than “Iso Joe” or “Joe Cool’”
B) Kevin Garnett said so.
Kevin Garnett says he calls Joe Johnson "Joe Jesus" Why? "He may not be there when you call him but he's there when you need him."
— Stefan Bondy (@NYDNInterNets) January 7, 2014
Lemon Face: This guy
Charles Barkley and Shaquille O’Neal spent quite a few years playing professional basketball and during their time, they made quite a lot of money, so I’m guessing they both have at least one very nice, large place somewhere in this world that they can call home. And wherever that home may be, I’m sure it’s surrounded by a relatively humungous garden because, well, just because. So if Pero Antic does indeed get selected for the “Rising Stars Challenge” – which is somewhat possible if he keeps nailing threes à la Dirk Nowitzki – this guy is going to have his work cut out for him:
— Ivan Menkinoski (@IMenkinoski) January 6, 2014
Lion Face: DeAndre Jordan flirts with a triple-double
In 33 minutes of action last night, DeAndre Jordan scored 14 points, grabbed 17 rebounds and blocked eight shots. You want to know the last person to reach those totals in a game, while playing 33 minutes of less? Well, I’ll tell you: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and he did it in March 1979. And to make DeAndre’s night even better, he put Glen Davis on a poster because, for some reason, Big Baby thought it would be a good idea to try and get a chase-down block. Bear in mind that Davis has only blocked a total of 14 shots this season. Oh, and he’s never averaged one block per game for an entire season in his seven-year career. Talk about bad decision making.
Lemon Face: Rudy Gobert’s rookie duties
Because nothing can separate Rudy Gobert and his wonderful Minnie Mouse bag.
Stats taken from Elias.