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Lion Face Lemon Face 01/01/13: The Nuggets Need Michael Jordan’s Secret Nachos

Unless you live 15 million miles away from an NBA arena like I do, last night marked the first games of 2014, which is exciting because, you know, it just is. While there weren’t any blockbuster games going on, there were some upsets, some ridiculous highlights and some drama, per usual, so let’s take a look at it all with the first Lion Face/Lemon Face of 2014.

Lion Face: Kevin Durant is working on his defense…

…but #KDIsNotNice.

Lemon Face: The Nuggets have been terrible since banning pizza and nachos

After getting off to a respectable start this season, the Denver Nuggets have lost nine of their last 10 games and sit near the bottom of the Western Conference standings with a 14-17 record. To make matter worse, Andre Miller received his first career “DNP-CD” last night because he had to be restrained on the bench for going at Brian Shaw. And to think all this has happened since pizza and nachos were banned from the locker. Sigh. Where’s Michael Jordan’s secret stuff when you need it?

Lion Face: Jared Dudley gets videobombed 

Forget Blake Griffin’s 31 points and 12 rebounds or Chris Paul’s 17 points and 14 assists because, ahem, JARED DUDLEY SCORED 20 POINTS. And he did so pretty efficiently, 6-for-9 shooting from the three, and he even threw in five assists for good measure. He also got interviewed after the game because that’s what happens when Dudley has a big performance and of course he got videobombed because it’s the NBA.

Lemon Face: Nice try, John Wall

Vince Carter is not impressed with your antics, John.

Lion Face: Kyrie Irving is okay

Kyrie scared the living daylights out of us all by falling down, hurting his knee and having to be carried off the court when the Cavaliers played against the Pacers on the last day of 2013. While he checked back into the game, he was hobbling all over the place and later told reporters that he heard a pop when he went down, which is never good news. But, thankfully, the basketball gods spared us one point guard because it’s just a knee contusion and he’s listed day-to-day. Maybe 2014 will be kinder to the knees. Just maybe.

Lemon Face: Cody Zeller does his best Blake Griffin impression and…fails

Cody Zeller tried to give Blake Griffin a taste of his own medicine by putting him on a poster, but he failed miserably. I mean, you know it’s not good when the front of the rim and your pride feel most of the damage from a dunk. Maybe it’s a sign that you should leave it to the high-flyers, huh, Cody?

Cody Zeller's gonna THROW DOOOOW - nevermind.

Lion Face: The rich get richer

As if the Portland Trail Blazers weren’t already good enough, CJ McCollum – their 10th pick in the 2014 draft – is fully healed and ready to play basketball again, but he’s been assigned to the Idaho Stampede in the D-League to shake off some rust. The Blazers haven’t needed McCollum through the first couple months of the season, but many pinned him as a dark horse to win Rookie of the Year, so, in other words, the rich just keep getting richer.

Lemon Face: The Lakers’ point guard situation

The Lakers announced yesterday that Jordan Farmer is out for at least four weeks after tearing his hamstring again. With Farmar, Blake and Nash out for an extended period of time, the Lakers are left with one point guard: Kendall Marshall. Nearly three weeks ago, Marshall was in the D-League, putting up 19.4 points and 9.6 assists per game. Now, he’s starting for the most storied franchise in NBA history. Talk about a quick turn of events. Even he’s shocked:

Whoops, wrong Tweet. Where was I? I forgot. Let’s just move onto the next one.

Lion Face: DeAndre Jordan has the best dunk of 2014

The best dunk of the year? Why, yes, it is.

Lemon Face: 2014 hasn’t been kind to the Hibster

It’s only January 2nd, but 2014 hasn’t been very kind to Roy Hibbert thus far. First, he fouled out after playing just 21 minutes last night. Secondly, his Pacers lost by 13 points to the Raptors. Thirdly, this happened:

Caption: My night just got worse! First the loss to Toronto. Now this. Not starting the year off the way I want to.

On the bright side, Roy, it can only get better from here on out…right?

Thanks to r/NBA for the GIFs.

Scott Rafferty