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Teenage Wasteland: Spurs vs. Bucks and Other Bad Basketball

tirefire

Photo Credit: Wisconsin Department of Natural Resource via Flickr

Stepping through the looking glass. Falling through the rabbit hole. Forthright analysis of last night’s most craptastic blowouts.

Wednesday’s blockbuster was a match up so wrought with angst it made Freaks & Geeks blush and inspired a firm desire to change the channel: the San Antonio Spurs against the Milwaukee Bucks. The game was over before it started, so primitive and wonky that the concept of triumph never had a chance to develop.

Larry Drew didn’t even bother waiting until the end of the third quarter before waving the white flag. With the Spurs leading the Bucks by 31 halfway through the third, Nate Wolters and Miroslav Raduljica connected in the paint. Wolters notched a career high 18 points. In more Bucksian news: With nine minutes remaining, the play-by-play announcer said this, “Wolters has 12. He’s leading the Bucks in scoring tonight.” Unrelated: Herb Kohl just posted an advertisement for spin doctors in the Wisconsin region.

Raduljica was remarkably competent against San Antonio’s bigs. He—relatively, I might add— held his own on defense and gobbled up five offensive rebounds in the second half. Granted, they came against a forgettable rebounding duo in Matt Bonner and Boris Diaw. Raduljica (whose name I’m still copying and pasting from the Bucks’ player page) finished with career highs in points, rebounds, blocks and minutes.

Speaking of career highs and names I can neither pronounce nor spell, Giannis Antetokounmpo was a freewheeling mess of limbs and perpetual kinesis, the Bucks’ lone beacon of hope. He finished with 15 points and eight rebounds in 33 minutes— all career highs. Yay, first half blow outs!

Ultimate Sadness DNP: Aron Baynes

In the closing 18 minutes:
Air balls: 2
Shot clock violations: 3

20 Hours in California

Yes, the tanking goods have been lain bare in the Eastern Conference. But the NBA is trotting out an apt product right now, one that cannot and will not discriminate against the Western Conference. Wednesday, the Utah Jazz and perpetually rebuilding Sacramento Kings deployed their respective second units for an entire quarter. A barnburner for the ages.

With the game winding down and the Kings losing by 20+ points, I couldn’t help but think, “What’s it like to get thrashed by Utah?” at which point John Lucas III and Jeremy Evans connected for an alley oop and the answer immediately dawned upon me: It’s quintessential Kings.

Stray Notes:

  • Ersan Illyasova airballed a mid-range jumper halfway through the fourth quarter of Spurs-Bucks. Simultaneously, my iTunes played something in the way of “if you ever need self-validation, just meet me in the alley by the railway station.” Music can make it easier to see the forest through the trees. Unrelated: Illyasova is shooting 11/39 from the field and has made just one of his ten attempts from beyond the arc over the past four games. Oof.
  • The performance artist formerly known as Jeff Ayres’ stat line: 0/0 from the field, 0 points, 10 rebounds, 1 assist, 0 steals, 0 blocks, 0 turnovers, 1 personal foul, with a +/- of +26.
  • Good news: Nando De Colo really, really wants to be good at basketball. Bad news: I don’t know if it’s a thing that’s ever going to happen for him. Here’s a screen cap of a transition no-look pass he intended for an invisible shooter either on the left wing or corner (I really couldn’t tell). Folks, De Colo has vision. The rest of us are wearing bifocals.

Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 5.03.21 AM

Seerat Sohi

Seerat Sohi (@DamianTrillard) watches NBA basketball from the confines in her home in Edmonton, a small town on the outskirts of Siberia, because the idea of running around on ice always made her feel nervous. She oscillates between loving and hating the Bulls, depending on the amount of minutes Jimmy Butler plays on a given day. She also writes for Clipperblog (www.clipperblog.com) and Rufus On Fire (www.rufusonfire.com). Her request for the domain name DidSeeratSohiSleepLastNight.com was recently rejected, but that won't deter any future attempts.

  • EJW

    Just an FYI, last night was Wednesday. Reading that got my hopes up that today was Friday on two separate occasions.

  • Russa

    U put up bad basketball and not Bulls x Knicks, That is trully horrible!

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