It was a busy night in the NBA, which makes my job all the more difficult because I have to sieve through all the amazing-ness to figure out what was the best. Or funniest. Or silliest. I’m not complaining. In fact, it makes my morning a lot more fun because I have an excuse to go through twitter, watch games and all the highlights. Otherwise, I’d have to do something like chores. Ugh. Chores.
But enough of me. Let’s talk basketball.
As I was saying, there were 13 games going in the NBA last night and all but three were decided by less than 10 points, which makes every league pass owner as happy as Larry. But, of course, with that many games, bad stuff also happens, like woeful shooting nights and hilariously terrible plays. Also, the Knicks played, so you know they’ll get a lemon face before the game even starts. So, with that being said, let’s get to it.
Lion Face: Dirk Nowitzki has found the fountain of youth
He’s 35 years old, but Dirk Nowitzki is still the same old Dirk Nowitzki we’ve all come to love. First, he’s still dripping with swag.
Second, he’s still torching everyone who dares stand in front of him, which the Rockets learnt the hard way – Dirk finished with 35 points and seven rebounds last night. Finally, a little history: Dirk is so good at scoring, that he surpassed Reggie Miller last night for the NBA’s 15th all-time leading scorer.
Now quick, someone make a machine that stops people from ageing. We need Dirk in this league forever.
Lemon Face: Gordon Hayward’s historically awful shooting night
According to Basketball Reference, Gordon Hayward is now one of five players in NBA history to attempt 17 or more field goals in a game and only make one. The Jazz also lost. No surprise there.
Lion Face: This Dallas Mavericks fan
I can’t stop watching this.
Lemon Face: The Knicks
Oh, Knicks. You were so close to winning a home game against the Indiana Pacers until Iman Shumpert fouled Paul George on a three point attempt with 5.2 seconds remaining in the game. Of course he went on to knock down all three free throws, so the game went into overtime and the Pacers walked away with a seven point victory because, well, it’s the Knicks.
Lion Face: Anthony Davis is as good (if not better) than advertised
Over his last two games, The Brow is averaging 17.5 points, 9.0 rebounds, 8.0 blocks, 2.5 assists and 1.0 steals. Trust me, there are no typos there. Oh, and he’s only 20 years old. Terrifying, right? The New Orleans Pelicans are inexplicably terrible, but at least Anthony Davis is insanely good.
Lemon Face: Lance Stephenson doesn’t know how to throw an alley-oop
YOU NEED A TEAMMATE RUNNING TOWARDS THE RIM TO PULL OFF AN ALLEY-OOP, LANCE!
Lion Face: Chris Paul breaks Magic Johnson’s double-double record
The Clippers have played 12 games this year and Chris Paul has recorded a double-double with points and assists in every one of them, which breaks Magic Johnson’s 23-year old record for the most all-time to start a season. Paul is now averaging 19.5 points, 12.5 assists, 5.3 rebounds and 2.8 steals per game. In other words, he’s a #PointGod.
Lemon Face: Josh Smith’s return to Atlanta
In his return to Atlanta, Josh Smith had a rough night as he was held to a quiet 11 points on 5-for-15 shooting. He also hoisted up four three point attempts and missed every, single one, which probably brought a smile to every Hawks fan in the crowd. At the very least, this person was over the moon:
Lion Face: Dwight Howard is Kyle Korver now
Because this is the play Kevin McHale had in mind with 0.1 seconds remaining on the shot-clock.
Lemon Face: The Brooklyn Nets lost…again
Let’s just make one thing clear: The Charlotte Bobcats aren’t nearly as bad as they used to be. In fact, they’re holding opponents to 9.8 less points per game than they were last season – the biggest improvement in the NBA. But still, the Brooklyn Nets shouldn’t have lost last night. Blame it on Deron Williams spraining his ankle for the millionth time if you want, but they just look terrible in general. Nets Daily may have said it best:
I fear it's time for Prokhorov to set up a wedding registry.
— NetsDaily.com (@NetsDaily) November 21, 2013
I fear that, too.