A Mariner’s and Barber’s Tribute to the Sonics

The Emerald City

Photo by The Western Sky from Flickr

The Seattle Mariners deserve a lot of credit for pulling this event off.  While some avoid talking about the Seattle Supersonics’ departure from Seattle, the Mariners addressed it dead-on.  

 Via “Sonics Celebration Night will go down in Seattle Mariners history” by David Nelson

Clearly, I’m not one to avoid the Sonics dead-on. Any chance I get, I’ll write about the SuperSonics. Thanks to the Seattle Mariners we get another opportunity to revel in the glory of Seattle pro hoops, which is a godsend given the M’s recent 17-game losing streak and the Seahawks declaration that their starting QB job is Tarvaris Jackson’s to lose.

In attendance at this Emerald City shindig was basically every great Sonics player in franchise history. The list is simply astounding: Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, Detlef Schrempf, Jack Sikma, Slick Watts, Gus Williams, Lenny Wilkens, Brent Barry, Freddie Brown, Michael Cage, James Donaldson, Dale Ellis, Hersey Hawkins, Spencer Haywood, Tom Chambers, and Nate McMillan. The only players of import missing are Xavier McDaniel and the deceased Dennis Johnson.

Coupling this glorious event with Spencer Hawes’s splendid haircut debuted earlier in the month, I think its high-time we unveiled the SuperSonics All-Time Hair Rankings!

Coming in at #5 is Paul Silas who was an absolute bruiser down-low, belying his affable off-court personality. I dig his well-groomed afro while our 16th President is charmed by his well-kept chin curtain.

Paul Silas from seventies1970s.com

Paul Silas / seventies1970s.com

At #4 is Shawn Kemp. He put nearly as much energy into maintaining his high-top fades as he did in shaming Golden State Warriors big men. He kept that cut ultra clean. Not a single follicle out of place.

Shawn Kemp Fade / Fat Shawn Kemp

Shawn Kemp / fatshawnkemp.com

Speaking of follicles, Slick Watts arrives at #3 despite having none. Nevertheless he deserves inclusion for being the pioneer of the “bald is beautiful” movement in professional sports. The movement as a whole can be traced back to the hot buttered soul of Isaac Hayes.


Slick Watts / historylink.org

The premier Sonics center, Jack Sikma only manages a #2 showing on this list. His golden perm afro was a modern hair marvel. Slick gave men everywhere the courage to just shave their scalp instead of masquerading with half-fros (think Maurice White of Earth, Wind & Fire). Likewise, Sikma gave hope to white men that they too could enjoy an afro.

Jack Sikma / thearch-info.com

Jack Sikma / thearch-info.com

At the top of the hair summit stands Michael Cage letting his Soul Gloooooo. Few NBA players wore the curl, so Cage easily beats the hoops competition. But expanding our scope to the entire population, Cage’s curl was bested only by a few (Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie). You could never tell if Cage was incredibly sweaty or just greased in activator. It’s little wonder he won a rebounding title in 1988 since opposing players were either a) disgusted by the curl or b) just slid off of Cage, preventing any effective box out.


Michael Cage / bleacherreport.com

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