The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing The World He Actually Had A Good Draft

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And then, inexplicably, Kemba Walker dropped all the way to 9 (sparked by the Cleveland Cavaliers selecting Tristan Thompson at 4), and the Bobcats were smart enough to snatch him up.

via Rufus on Fire – For Charlotte Bobcats Fans.

Based off this, I have some other uses for the word “inexplicably.”

“Following the eruption of Pompei, the surrounding villagers were inexplicably covered in fiery ash.”

“Then, inexplicably, Tom Green’s career took a downturn.”

“In the early 2000’s, Smashing Pumpkins inexplicably broke up.”

“Inexplicably, ‘Skyline’ did not do well with the critics or at the box-office.”

That’s what happens when a Goddamn volcano suddenly explodes, when your claim to fame is “The Bum Bum Song,” Billy Corgan runs your band, your movie looks like ‘Independence Day’ if it sucked and none of the characters look like people you want to survive, and a 5-11 point guard (WITH REALLY BIG SHOES!) and limited upside is available in a draft based on potential in the face of a lockout.

Stunning.

Here’s what’s great about this draft and next. Next year, there’s so much talent it’s not going to be so devastating if you get a pick wrong. But this one is like Russian Roulette, only instead of bullets, the revolver holds overhyped college players whose games MAY or may not translate to the NBA. It’s polarizing. Even better, most of the people who believe in Kemba believe in Biyombo, too, AND CHARLOTTE GOT BOTH OF THEM.

The Charlotte Bobcats are the new face of hope. Put that in your overpriced cigar and smoke it.

Also, I really want D.J. Augustin and Tyrus Thomas to form a two-man band before training camp just so they can play this song to Biyombo and Kemba. Because basically, Kemba and Biyombo are worse versions of themselves who people think will immediately be better.

When a player with as much athleticism and “potential” as Biyombo is drafted in the lottery, many worry about his “potential” never becoming reality. In Biyombo’s case, these worries should hold very little substance, because Biyombo’s talent does not rest solely on his raw athleticism. When watching footage of Biyombo, it is clear that he attempts to position himself well for offensive rebounds, and seems to have a clear ability to time his block attempts. Additionally to this, Biyombo is by all accounts extremely intelligent and a hard worker. The coupling of his impressive athleticism (and ability) with his dedication to polishing his game lead me to believe that his skill set gives him the chance to become a defensive anchor for a rebuilding franchise and a top center in the future. In this draft, few players possess the potential that Biyombo does while also possessing the skills that can translate into that potential.

via Trade Analysis: The Charlotte Bobcats Move Into The Lottery And Draft Bismack Biyombo – Rufus on Fire.

Take the word Biyombo out of the above paragraph and fill in whatever hyper-athletic “raw” player who “needs polish” from the last several years you prefer. Particularly that bit about knowing position and timing blocks? Yeah, heard that about Thabeet. This is Hardwood Paroxysm, we’re a temple to the virtue of athletic potential hopefully translated. But there have been enough cases of rot in such picks that this newfound attitude about Biyombo being a lock (which is not what fair Connor said, though if you asked him if Biyombo could create a unicorn spontaneously, he’d say “I’m not going to say he  CAN’T do it because we don’t know yet”)  is perplexing. There’s not a lock in this draft, not even Irving, though he’s about as close as it gets.

Meanwhile, the Cats could have taken Kawhi Leonard, who has a great attitude, significantly more polish than Biyombo, great athleticism, and a nasty attitude as he’s currently plotting to destroy every team that passed on him. He and Singleton better not wind up on the same team together. Not enough vengeance to go around.

I share the above from Rufus on Fire not to mock them, I only tend to share things which are worth reading. It’s an opposing viewpoint, and it shows the polarizing nature of this draft, with on the one side, Biyombo’s unknown, unrecognizable potential paired with Kemba’s unnameable … whatever it is he’s supposed to do while Augustin plots to trip and fall into his knees during practice on one side and players like Vesely (a super-long, athletic, aggressive small forward without a jumper, the shot you don’t want players taking anyway, the horror!) and Brandon Knight (how dare he turn the ball over as a point guard like Derrick Rose, Tryeke Evans, and John Wall all did their first years) on the other.

The NBA like most other things is becoming more and more polarized. James. Kobe. This draft. The Dougie. It’s a tense world our there.

Matt Moore

Matt Moore is a Senior NBA Blogger for CBSSports.com's Eye on Basketball blog, weekend editor of Pro Basketball Talk on NBCSports.com, and co-editor of Voice on the Floor. He lives in Kansas City due to an unbelievably complex set of circumstances and enjoys mid-90's pop rock, long walks on the beach and the novels of Tim Sandlin.