The 2010 Hardwood Paroxysm Draft Lottery Drinking Game

It’s that magical time again folks! Time for us to join the hallowed bands of happy fans, praying, dreaming, hoping for a better day in the sun thanks to the lottery Gods. And just as we have in the past, we’ve got a drinking game ready for you. Add your suggestions in the comments, and remember to keep the cacao in the cupboard. This ain’t no Manhattan martini game.

  • Note: Pour one out in advance for Elgin. (via @j_d_hastings)
  • Every time Adam Silver takes more than 7 seconds, from first syllable to last, announcing which team is next on the lottery list, take 1 drink per second over.
  • Jay-Z sighting: one drink
  • Prohkorov mention: 1 drink
  • Evan Turner mention: 1 drink
  • Every time David Kahn fidgets: 1 drink
  • Every time someone mentions the T-wolves 3-PG draft, take a drink.
  • Every Lebron/Cal package deal mention (even though it is completely irrelevant tonight’s proceedings): 1 drink
  • Every time Stuart Scott attempts the John Wall dance: 3 drinks
  • 1 drink every time Don Nelson takes a drink (you know they have got a hidden cam on him tonight): Drink 1 with Don
  • When Minny wins the lottery: Pop open the champagne!
  • Jazz get a top 3 pick: Pop open the sparkling mineral water
  • Everytime Tyreke is asked a question or had something said about him and the camera cuts to him nervously staring at the floor, waiting for a subject change.
  • Every time a white guy is mentioned as a possible Pacer pick, huff some glue.
  • Each time Blake Griffin is mentioned, tap your right knee for luck, then drink
  • Each time Irene Pollin sighting? Take a shot. You know. A Shot.
  • Each time Jrue Holiday shifts from one leg to the other, have your drink slip out of your hand, then drink to the person replacing you.
  • Every Danny Granger appearance, sing the Batman theme, then drink.
  • Every shot of the “secret” actual lottery distribution: 1 drink
  • Every time Mike Prada or Kyle Wedie’s soul dies: 1 drink
  • Every time Isiah Thomas is mentioned, give all your liquor to a friend for Steve Francis. (via @noamschiller)
  • Take a shot every time they mention that the knicks traded away their pick (via@NickNoHeartTPFS)

After event, immediately seek medical attention for alcohol poisoning.

Tonight you can join in on the fun with the official hashtag for paroxysm’s coverage which we’ll be compiling into a post: #lottoxysm.

JOIN US!

Matt Moore

Matt Moore is a Senior NBA Blogger for CBSSports.com's Eye on Basketball blog, weekend editor of Pro Basketball Talk on NBCSports.com, and co-editor of Voice on the Floor. He lives in Kansas City due to an unbelievably complex set of circumstances and enjoys mid-90's pop rock, long walks on the beach and the novels of Tim Sandlin.