You know, as you get older, pornography holds less and less appeal.
You’ve got a job. You’ve got a wife. You may have kids. Pets. World of Warcraft. Picking up the shattered pieces of your long-term investments and attempting to rebuild some sort of facade that convinces you your financial security will be assured when you’re too old to pee on your own.
Life gets in your way, you know? And the draw just starts to wane once you’ve got unfettered access to it. Sure, the base motivations are still there. But really, the internet has even taken away the thrill of a tabboo stack of magazines hidden in your old college steamtrunk. It’s become like eBay or videos of people dancing, only appealing to the certain adult desires we all have. And that can get boring.
But I have good news, basketball fans! You certain freaks obsessed with the orange roundball and hardwood paroxysms. Sure, it’s not actually going to feed into any carnal desires (we hope), but there’s a new name in hoopsmut. And it is Synergy.
In all seriousness, this tool is going to revolutionize how we talk about the NBA. On the TrueHoop Network threads, we jokingly refer to it as “The Argument Ender.” Because that’s exactly what it is. “Well, he’s not that bad of a defender…” “Really? Because he allows a 60% scoring percentage on ISO plays. BOOM. ROASTED.”
And that’s just the numbers. If you say, “I don’t believe it. Those are just numbers!” then click on the number. Go ahead. Do it. It’ll take you to the video which shows you every play in that set, by team, by player, everything. Is your team looking for a fast shooting guard that doesn’t get murdered on the pick and roll? You can evaluate candidates and find which one is best of the available free agents. Trying to figure out how your team blew a 3-1 series lead with the size advantages they enjoy? Synergy can not only tell you, it’ll show you. It’ll revolutionize the way you look at sports. And if you’re not interested in that much work? It’s going to let us, your favorite bloggers, do the work for you. We can spend the time to really tell you how guys perform in situations, how a game broke down, play by play.
It doesn’t tell us everything. It’s not going to tell you about Thabo Sefolosha forcing Kobe to give the ball up to a Fisher three twice. It’s not going to account for how Amar’e weak screen led to the play’s break down and forced Nash into the turnover. But it’s going to tell you a lot. And it’s going to provide context. And it’s going to put us ahead of where we’ve been in terms of being able to really breakdown an individual player’s strengths and weaknesses, which are central to how the sport operates.
I’ve been rolling through the thing at times, and I’ll be honest, it’s so much I can only dip the bucket in. If I reach down and try and drink straight from the source, I’m going to fall in like the fat kid in Willy Wonka and get sucked up into a tube of Off-Screen play percentages. But know this. This changes everything. It makes us smarter fans, smarter writers, smarter people about the game of basketball.
Just a head’s up, the wrist problems remain constant. You know. With all the mouse clicking.