Too Many Words About The NBA: Preview Edition

Before the season kicked off yesterday, the HP crew (Corn, Mahoney, Wade, Harper, Kyle, Trey, and myself) had ourselves a little fustercluck on gchat to discuss the upcoming season. Here are the fruits of our labor.

Trey has joined
Rob has joined
Corn has joined
Jared has joined
Zach has joined
net has joined
Zach: Whoa, what just happened?
Portland Go.
you’re in a group chat
you’re supposed to discuss the upcoming season
Corn: yes, i see that i am in a group chat
me: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!!!!!
PORTLAND. DISCUSS.
Corn: Portland has Nate MacMillan – that is bad
Zach: They’re good
Corn: Batum, out with a shoulder, that is bad
Zach: And I have an unnatural, unfounded mancrush on Greg Oden
Corn: Andre Miller hates roses and microbrews – that is bad
me: Andre Miller will be good, but bad overall, if that makes sense. Like, he’ll be great numbers wise
Zach: Andre Miller hates everything
me: but I think he’ll hurt the squad
Jared: that article on Brandon Roy today was good
Corn: Andre Miller especially hates man-love affection between bloggers and Greg Oden
you’ve bene warned Harper
Jared: Brandon Roy, also good
Corn: I just cant get over the feeling that Portland is going to get run out of the gym by WC teams that are far superior athletically
Zach: is that because of talent or style?
Corn: i think its a bit of both
Portland’s talent is not the problem
me: I think they’ll beat the also-rans but get clobbered by the elite
so a lot like last year
Corn: precisely, Moore
Zach: How long does Nate last?
Rob: they’re a better team than last year, the problem is that everyone else is better too
me: two years
this year and next
they don’t go to 7 in the wcf next season he’s sunk
Corn: i expect to get little glimpses of fabulousness when Rudy and Bayless actually share the court together – but that will happen about once every 2 weeks, and for 3 minutes, so not that much excitement really
me: they gotta trade bayless, right?
I mean, they gotta
Zach: Is Bayless even good? Do we know he’s good?
Rob: they won’t
Corn: im just hoping bayless pulls a larry johnson and just totally pisses nate off
Rob: OH, WE KNOW, ZACH
WE KNOW, GOD DAMMIT
Corn: so they can send him somewhere his talents are welcomed
Zach: Or is he like the Donte Greene of small guards?
Jared: The Pacers traded Bayless so he’s definitely good
Zach: Good point
Rob: affirmed, Jared
Corn: NO MORE KINGS REFERENCES!
Rob: I also love Donte Greene :(
Corn: +1 Jared
Zach: Oh you shouldn’t, Rob. He’s an awful basketball player
Jared: He’s good at popcorning cars, though
Corn: portlands problem is they cant play their bench players and their starters together in any formula
Rob: I think I’m still mesmerized by his syracuse days
Corn: if you bring miller or bayless or rudy in and run them with the slowdown starters, it just totally f***s everything up
like spilling water on gizmo
Rob: I’m not following
Zach: Portland seems like they’re full of a star and a bunch of role players. Which usually should work. But I feel like they need two more stars to make this work
Rob: except the gizmo part
I followed that
Jared: How good is LaMarcus?
Zach: I don’t think he’s very good
Rob: not good enough, apparently
Corn: nothing but angry mutants and disgruntled players come to life when portlans bench comes in
good enough for a monster extension
Zach: I mean, he’s good but not “he matters” good
Corn: so there’s that
exactly zach
me: I want to start a team with LaMarcus at the three, Bargnani at the 4, and Nene at the 5. And we’ll get outrun, but Jesus it will be beautiful.
Rob: man, that draft sucked
aside from Roy
Corn: if lamarcus was on the magic, he would be terrific
Jared: Nene would dunk on God (c) Russ Bengston
Corn: but he needs someone that will do all the dirty work and have some attitude
when Oden growls, he breaks his jaw
Zach: That’s not fair
Greg Oden is a saint!
me: okay. new topic. Hawks. Go.
Zach: Hawks blow
Rob: I will defend Oden til the day I die
Corn: yo, i am the #1 Oden loveer
Rob: Hawks blow
Corn: with all due respect
Jared: I’m in love with the Hawks backcourt
Corn: hawks blow
Jared: can’t wait to watch all that
Rob: even Joe Johnson hates the Hawks
net: Damn. You go wash some damn dishes and all of this happens.
Zach: Josh Smith has already reached his ceiling
Rob: we all agree there, Zach
Corn: +1 zach
(for the bibby comment)
Jared: Bibby, Joe and Jamal…Josh Smith might go full quarters without touching the ball
Rob: I worry big time about Smith
he should e so much better than he is
Corn: something tells me al horford is going to get really pissed off really fast with this hawks team
Zach: I’m not sure I understand what Marvin Williams is
Jared: Josh Smith will never be good
Rob: wait, so the Hawks are essentially a less talented Blazers team…right?
but otherwise, same problems
Zach: What are the chances Al Horford is a Hawk in three years?
Hawks are the less-talented Blazers of the East
Corn: its going to be a pissing contest between bibby, Johnson (who wishes he was a star but has realized he isnt) and Crawford (who is worse than both and will take twice as many shots)
me: I’m like the only guy high on the hawks
I watched them a ton last year
Zach: Oh god. I forgot about Crawford
Hawks really blow
Rob: the Hawks are good…for the East
Corn: bada bing
me: they got ran out the building by Cavs, but really, they were more of an actual basketball team than they ahve been since Wilkins
Rob: I mean they’re not in danger of missing the playoffs or anything
Zach: Oh no. They’re a lock for the playoffs
net: Naw Matt … I’m high on the Hawks too …hope they meet Boston in the playoffs … Zaza has some unfinished biz.
Corn: did the hawks draft anyone?
me: Teague
Zach: Jeff Teague
me: who looks good
Zach: he’s fantastic
Jared: I’m high on the Hawks — Josh Smith also probably “high” on the Hawks
Rob: he’s been pretty great so far
Jared: I love Jeff Teague
Corn: thats right — another guard who hates his teammates, doesnt pass and shoots 300 times too much
Zach: Hawks would have been better off throwing money at Sessions and pairing him with Teague for PG duties
Rob: Corn’s a little biased against the Wake types, methinks
Corn: my god – that means teague and crawford are in the same backcourt
me: yeah, he’s still pissed about that loss last year
teague’s actually been passing corn
great speed
Corn: i give it 4 games until both are standing under the opponents basket yelling at al horford to inbound the ball to them — then, they get in a fight
me: teague-smith-horford is a hell of a future building block set if Johnson takes off and Bibby retires
Corn: seriously, crawford and teague will get in a fight over who gets to dribble before we hit thanksgiving
book it
Zach: Wouldn’t Smith have to be good though?
me: Yikes, Harper’s got a thing against Smith, me thinks.
Corn: smith really needs a true superstar around him
Zach: Much like Marvin Williams, I don’t know how those two help you win basketball games
Corn: he needs somebody that will make him use those insane talents for 48 minutes
Rob: I like Marvin Williams, but he’s essentially just a better Ryan Gomes
me: Smith’s 23 years old.
Zach: Yes, Rob
And he’s already peaked, I feel like
me: Does everyone know they have Joe Smith? How weird is that?
Rob: Matt, I will mail you back everything you’ve paid me if Josh Smith ever develops a post-game or a jumpshot
Jared: Smith peaked three years ago in that Nique jersey
Zach: I would request no Joe Smith references
Corn: i dont think he’s peaked, but he’s just never going to have a Melo like offensive repetoire — hell, he may never even have a a McDyess like offensive repetoire
me: NEW TOPIC: Nets.
Corn: smith would be the ultimate CP3 sidekick
BOOOOOOOOO
no nets!
net: Nets … worst in East
Zach: I feel like the Bucks and Nets will fight it out for worst record
Jared: Brook is better than you think
Corn: who picks these topics?
me: Brook Lopez is beastly
Rob: Bucks are better than the Nets, for sure
me: Devin Harris is awesome
if Terrence Williams is anything, and CDR keeps playing like he has.
Rob: stop it, Matt, I might cry
me: that’s 20 wins.
Rob: they’re going to have a fun backcourt
Corn: 20 wins, FTW?
Rob: Harris and Lee, with CDR off the bench
Zach: CDR said he was a leader of the team the other day. That’s not a good thing, right?
me: that’s if they get nothing from Lee or Yi
Zach: They will get nothing from Yi
me: CDR’s a headcase. Dude came after me on Twitter.
Rob: although, CDR’s jersey: terrible jersey or worst jersey?
Zach: I saw that
Corn: Russian voice “shoot for me, you little men. shoot teh ball for Vladimir!”
me: then I said nice things about him and he said >>>>>>RESPECT
Rob: what did he say, Matt?
me: he was uspet because I told him to call his agent before he started talking about “the hood.”
which I totally respect he’s got love for where he came from.
Corn: i hope the Nets go the longest without a win
me: but I also didn’t want to deal with another goddamn Twitter story
Corn: then, when they get it, they can all celebrate in the lockerroom by pouring Smirnoff all over the place
net has left
me: Corn, you’ve got the h8 up at about 11. turn ‘er down.
Corn: im fine
Zach: Have you seen the Nets bench? It’s confusing
like the movie Labrynth
Corn: we’ve just picked 3 teams that i think will either A) suck or B) really suck
Rob: Corn’s had one of those little prickly things stuck in his shoe all day
me: NEW TOPIC: SPURS. GO.
Zach: Champs
Jared: If I never see another story about an NBA player saying something “controversial” on Twitter it will be too soon
Corn: SPURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob: they’re kind of good
Corn: Dejuan Blair = ROY
Rob: yeah right
Corn: ha ha
me: everyone’s gotta simmer on Blair
Corn: if Manu stays healthy, I think they win the west
Zach: AGREED
Jared: If Manu is healthy in the Playoffs, they win it all
Corn: yes, that was a serious comment
Jared: (I was late with that)
Zach: Antoni McDyess signing was pretty amazing
Corn: i think they are the team with the best quality depth in the league
me: Problem is, they still don’t have anyone to guard Gasol.
or Odom.
Corn: the lakers are arguably as deep
me: Well, I guess RJ
Zach: Lakers bench sucks
Corn: Moore has a point
Gasol is the kilelr matchup
Jared: I think Duncan might be able to handle Pau
Rob: duncan can’t guard gasol?
Jared beat me to it
Jared: RJ guards Odom
me: didn’t look like it last two years.
Corn: Duncan can at least slow him down some
Rob: and ummm, we’re forgetting MATT BONNER
Jared: No one guards Ron and you let him shoot threes and get yell at in Italian by Mamba
me: problem is, Bynum plays really well against them
Zach: George Hill will kill somebody in that series
Corn: Artest’s new haircut = teh AWESOME
Rob: yeah, he did really well against Duncan last time they played
Zach: Luckily for the Spurs, Bynum will be out for the season in the playoffs
Rob: truth
Corn: i hate the Spurs, but i love the makeup of this team
there are no true “holes”
well, unless you count Bonner
Jared: Tony Parker is amazing
me: McDyess
that’s the one that kills me
Zach: And Kobe’s a little afraid of a healthy Manu
Corn: but I imagine they have been starting McD and not Bonner, right?
me: McDyess joined that team. that’s just sick.
Corn: woah, Zach. Hold on there
Zach: He is, just a little
because Manu is too unconventional
Jared: …and so multi-lingual
Zach: Hard to figure out on the court
doesn’t mean he can’t stop him but he attacks defense oddly
me: NEW TOPIC: Magic. Go.
Zach: in a good way
Magic are the best team in the East. Jalen Rose convinced me
Rob: Magic will probably go back to the Finals
Corn: Moore and VC sitting in a tree, k–i-s-s-i-n-g
me: burn in hell.
Rob: VC > Hedo
Corn: yep
me: Ryan Anderson and Bass
Jared: The Magic might be better now but I would prefer to watch the unconventional style they repped last year
me: you want to talk depth
Corn: this is it for Carter
Rob: Jason Williams has been surprisingly good, too
Corn: this is the team he has been dying to try and not quit on his entire career
Zach: Matt Barnes signing has gone completely under the radar
me: they’re second lineup is what, JWill, Redick, Ryan Anderson, Bass, Gortat?
Jared: Bass, Gortat, Barnes are all great, great bench guys
Rob: forgot Barnes, Matt
me: shooters, scorers, rebounders, energy guys, size, speed, athleticism
Corn: overpaid massively for Gortat – but if it gets them to the finals again, all will be forgiven
Zach: Tattooed knuckles and necks
Rob: in the words of Dwyer, “stacked”
me: I can’t believe they got Bass. that just kills me. Guy’s going to get so many clean-up buckets.
Jared: despite all that, the Magic still lack a consistent, go-to post guy … and no, Supes doesn’t count
Corn: the magic are truly a team that HP would put together if we were all one GM
duh, Jared, did you forget Gortat?
me: I think we’d probably put together FC Barcelona
Corn: anybody know is DHo is making free throws?
Zach: I have to say from what I’ve seen with Dwight this preseason, the post game is much improved.
me: we say that every year
Rob: Bass also isn’t a bad option on the block
he pretty much only has one move (turnaround jumper), but it’s effective
me: but then, like I’ve said, every year he’s had a complaint about his game and every year he’s fixed it
Corn: who is starting for them at the 3? Barnes?
Rob: Pietrus
Zach: He’s no Olajuwon at this point but he’s also not Scot Pollard either
me: Jesus, I forgot about Pietrus!
Corn: yeah, somebody on ESPN pegged Pietrus for MIP
me: seriously! How many damn players that are A-Level do they have? they have almost no scrubs.
Corn: weird
Jared: oh yeah…Mike Piet
Zach: Jameer Nelson is still good at basketball
Corn: Moore, you forget Redick
me: Nelson-Carter-Pietrus-Lewis-Howard-Pietrus-Barnes-Anderson-Bass-Gortat-Redick
Jared: so, yeah, by far the deepest team in the League
me: Pietrus twice
my bad
Corn: Magic and Spurs, 2 deepest
me: but once for his game, and once for his flair.
NEW TOPIC: Nuggets. RACK ‘EM.
Corn: JR Smith scares me
Zach: I like the Nuggets this year and have no clue why
JR Smith scares a lot of people
Rob: Nuggets will fall
Corn: i mean, really, like nightmare fuel scares me
Jared: My love for Denver is unconditional
me: i have love/hate.
Corn: Nuggets wont fall THAT far though, right?
Rob: if anyone is friends with a professional artist, I’d like to commission a portrait of JR screaming into the face of a roaring lion
me: love billups hate smith love/hate melo
love nene, hate kmart
Corn: which teams that arent LAL or Spurs have seriously gotten much better while the Nuggets have roughly stayed the same?
Jared: Nene, Method Man, Melo, Birdman, Kleiza is such much awesome in the front court
Zach: I’m big on Melo now, after a couple of rollercoaster years between the two of us
me: Kleiza’s gone
overseas
Corn: i think the Lawson pick is going to be HUGE for them (tough for me to say, as a Duke fan)
Rob: I think Melo is fantastic, but this MVP talk is a bit ridic
Zach: yes
Jared: oh…right….poop
Zach: Lawson solves any backup point issues
Corn: but really, think of Ty Lawson running everyone silly up in that Denver altitude
Jared: Melo looks like he lost 15 lbs
Zach: and Afflalo is a nice pickup
me: Lawson-Nene alley-oop> Hadron Collider
Rob: Lawson’s going to be tremendous as a change of pace point
Jared: Afflalo is much better than Dahntay Jones for the Dahntay Jones role
Rob: by the way, we really need to hammer home Afflalo’s nickname as “Spell Check”
an absolutely tremendous nickname
me: DONE.
Zach: agreed
Corn: i just forsee either a Nene/Martin injury
Jared: Spell Check is a must
me: Corn, it’s not like Nene’s injury prone.
dude had testicular tumor
Corn: that aint an injury?
Jared: out with a ball
Zach: How much would it cost to get Nene that Wolverine surgery?
Corn: +1 Jared
Rob: shnickety shnickety shny
Corn: we all forgot BIRDMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob: Nene’ll go wolvy berserk style
Zach: Caaaaaaaawwwwwww
Corn: it is impossible for me to root against any team with Birdman
Jared: I have never forgotten Birdman and, frankly, I resent the implication, sir (drops glove for duel)
Corn: btw, is Balkman still on the Nuggs?
Rob: Balkman is
me: the arm flapping phenomenon is brilliant
Zach: Yes and he’s pesky
Corn: Best HP collaborative post ever btwn Me and Moore: Birdman and Balkman
me: you can tell Corn is an NBA “expert.”
Rob: I would call him an NBA “insider”
Corn just knows things
Corn: I am an NBA “blogger”
BURN!
Zach: Do not challenge Corn
you’ll get the horns
me: SPEAKING OF. NEW TOPIC. BULLS. GO
Corn: i have talked more about the NBA in the past 20 minutes than I have in the last 20 week
yuck
Zach: I’m down on the bulls
because Jannero Pargo is not the answer
Jared: Derrick Rose deserves to be followed around with, wait for it, ROSE petals
Corn: Any team that starts a player that looks like Trey Kirby = FAIL
Jared: he’s gonna win an MVP one day
Zach: If Joakim Noah buzzes his hair, he looks two steps faster on the court, right?
me: (insert obligatory “This has to be the year for Tyrus Thomas” comment here)
Corn: Moore, please tell us how Tyrus Thomas is going to make the leap this year… Ive missed that!
ARGH
Rob: not true Corn, I saw that Trey’s men’s league team won the championship
Zach: Couldn’t that get him a 5-yr, $60m extension?
me: TBS VERY FUNNY
Corn: I couldnt type fast enough
point taken, Rob
Jared: I usually reserve this for TJ Ford, but Tyrus Thomas is the Memph Bleek of the NBA: Dude’s gonna be one hit away his whole career
Rob: and I’m late on this, but Pargo blows
me: Anyone else seen 82games.com‘s look at how Rose and Hinrich do on the floor together?
Rob: like seriously, that dude is horrible
me: because it’s beautiful and makes me excited
it’s like a cop duo
Zach: is it true that Trey only hangs out with people that are above 6’4″?
me: tango and cash
might nickname them that.
Corn: ive never hung out with Trey, so, in my opinion, that theory is valid
Zach: I will second Tango and Cash
me: i’m hanging out with Trey next weekend, so we’ll know then (6’0”)
Jared: a dude in my fantasy football league has a team called Tango and Gash
Rob: god Tango and Cash is a sweet movie
Corn: I have a feeling Noah just leaves town for a couple weeks in january and goes to Cancun with some chicks
Zach: New Topic – Tango and Cash?
Rob: Let’s!
Corn: god Tango and Gash is an even sweeter movie
me: WANT the SUV so bad.
was before SUV’s were popular
Zach: +1 Corn
Rob: you mean before SUVs with mounted machine guns were popular?
Zach: There’s a Delonte West joke in there somewhere
Corn: SUVs with mounted machine guns have always been popular
me: +1 Zach
Corn: there’s a Delonte West joke in everywhere
Zach: Touché
me: NEW TOPIC: SUNS. ROCK.
Corn: any chance the Bulls are one of the 4 lowest scoring teams in the league? even with Rose?
Zach: This Suns team is like seeing AC/DC touring today
You want to remember the good times but it’s just a little pathetic
Corn: Suns = my face looks like the Nazis after they open the Holy Grail in Indiana Jones
me: technically that’s just “Raiders of the Lost Ark”
Rob: it’s like seeing zombie Elvis touring today
Corn: I feel physically weak every time I have to tell someone I am a Suns fan
Jared: <—- (dork) *Ark of the Covenant
Corn: point taken, Moore
me: Holy Grail would be the dude who picks up the cup and turns into Jerry Sloan
Rob: yeah come on Corn, you don’t open the Holy Grail
me: no, Amare is Captain Ron.
Corn: WHATEVER
Zach: Corn has gone to a different place than all of us during this
Jared: The Suns should gone out like James Dean and all died in a fiery 2005 team bus crash
Corn: WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE SUNS, I HATE MY LIFE
me: Kurt Russel movies all day long.
Zach: Overboard is completely underrated
Rob: somebody kick Zach out of this chat right now
me: Is there any chance the Suns win a rebounding differential in any game this season?
Zach: Rob, have you even given it a chance?
Corn: yes, against Trey’s intramural team
me: silence, youngster! you will appreciate Goldie Hawn!
Zach: It’s the feel good family comedy about amnesia of the 80s
Corn: who is coming off the Suns bench?
honestly, i dont know
Rob: no one.
me: Alando Tucker to continue to make me sad.
Rob: Barbosa
Zach: When healthy, is Robin Lopez starting?
Corn: are they actually starting Robin Lopez?
Jared: speaking of amnesia, watched The Majestic the other day … doesn’t suck
Rob: I think they might be starting Frye
me: they are startging Frye
Corn: gotcha
Zach: That’s awful
me: Nash-Richardson-Hill-Amare-Frye
Rob: Lopez is injured, if I’m not mistaken
me: Frye’s going to be pretty good
Jared: Much like John Wallace, I’ll forever believe Alando Tucker has all-star potential
Corn: puke
me: SSOL is good for bigs
Rob: it’s a good place for Channing
and he needs a good place after hiding under a rock in Portland
Zach: I am terrified of watching Amare and Frye trying to protect the rim
Corn: has whats his name from louisville done anything for them in the preseason?
Rob: what is that weird abbreviation for Portland…PDX?
Zach: PDX
me: yeah, I don’t get it.
Corn: paging earl clark? is he alive?
me: he’s alive,but likely won’t play because letting rookies out in SSOL is like handing a teenager the keys to the SUV from tango and cahs
Corn: has colangelo taken dragic out to the high desert and tied him to a cactus yet?
Rob: that was how I learned to drive, and I turned out okay
Zach: What the hell is a Dragic?
Rob: something from Harry Potter
Zach: Never read them
Rob: I think I saw a Harry-Dragic fanfiction one time
Corn: a dragic is the name for a fleshy, human like that takes up a draft pick meant for getting dejuan blair the following year
Jared: I wrote that Rob
me: NEW TOPIC. CELTICS.
Rob: +1 Jared, for the scene with the candlesticks
Corn: thank god
me: (doing good, gents, keep it up)
Corn: SERIOUSLY, STOP THE HARRY POTTER
Rob: first of all, let’s take a second to laugh at Big Baby
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Corn: does anyone outside of Chris sheridan and maybe the celtics hub guys really think they’ll win the east?
Rob: they’re really good, but I see them as third in the East
Corn: oops, sorry, i meant BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Corn: they went from Pick to Punk
Jared: If Danny Ainge doesn’t pay Rajon Rondo he should be tied up in a burlap sack and thrown in the Charles River
Corn: there’s no going back
me: I want Rondo traded to a Central division team so I can see him play the Bulls four times a year.
Corn: the best thing to do when the entire league thinks your team is full of jackasses who are past their prime sign rasheed wallace
Jared: I would trade the entire Pacers roster excluding Danny for Rondo
They would turn it down
Corn: in Jared’s scenario, +1 Danny Ainge
Zach: How many players do you want to have the ball in the fourth over Paul Pierce?
Corn: at least 3
me: how many screens is ray allen going to need to get off a clean shot this season?
Corn: LBJ, Kobe, Wade
Jared: Mamba, Flash, LeBron and maybe Manu
Zach: I say no more than 5
Agreed
Jared: also, Dragic
Corn: +1 Jared
Rob: also, Bayless
Corn: Boston is futile
Jared: Gash?
Zach: Any chance KG is healthy?
Corn: all they are going to do is bitch about how they dont get any respect… after they lose to the Magic by 22
Zach: Let me rephrase
me: there’s a chance
Rob: healthy enough to strangle someone, I’m sure
Zach: Any chance he’s healthy at the end of the season
I think the knee will be fine, but damn that team is going to be tired.
Zach: They’re not dumb enough to “go for 70 wins” are they?
Corn: its weird, you’d think with Doc having an older team that he would be comfortbale spreading minutes around
but i see an old 8 man roster come playoffs
and thats bad
Jared: apropos of nothing: RT @Nick_Nolte: I’m a head down to the morgue and crack open a cold one. That’s a double entendre, son.
me: it’s weird because they were barkish in 07-08, but it was more of an obsessive, deranged “kill everyone, must not fail” thing. This year’s it much more “WE ARE AWESOME, YOU JUST DON’T KNOW IT!” They’re like Red Sox fans, essentially.
Corn: +1,000 Jared
exactly Moore
Zach: I blame Kendrick Perkins
Jared: Paul Pierce looked like he had mono in the Playoffs last year
Corn: and thats why anyone that isnt a Celtics fan will be pulling against them in the playoffs
Zach: Ever since he got an inflated sense of self worth, the team has been out of control
me: NEW TOPIC: Hornets. TALKY TALKY.
Jared: like so lethargic and immobile until the last four mins
ob: Hornets are probably underrated
Zach: I’m scared to see an alley-oop attempt thrown Emeka’s way
Rob: Okafor and Diogu are going to be good for them
Corn: (insert comment of Matt saying the exact same thing about Julian Wright he always says about Tyrus Thomas)
agreed Rob, slow, but good
Jared: if Julian Wright doesn’t start getting some burn, I will be very angry
Zach: Julian is starting, right?
Corn: i think collison was a great pick for them
Zach: Peja comes off the bench?
me: he’s starting
Zach: That’s better for Peja
me: Peja’s got no legs
Corn: really? Thats a good move by Byron
me: Scott’s pretty happy with wright, when I talked to him a week ago
Jared: People question Chandler for Okafur, but Chandler was a corpse last year
me: Thornton will be starting by midseason.
Corn: ooooooohhhhhhhh, youre such an insider
Zach: Did Matt just name drop?
Corn: yep
Zach: That felt weird
me: sorry, WHEN I SPOKE DIRECTLY WITH HEAD COACH BYRON SCOTT TWO WEEKS AGO
Corn: no WAY thornton is starting by midseason
Rob: no way Thornton will be starting
Corn: are you serious?
me: not kididng
Trey: OH SNAP SORRY I MISSED IT GUYS
Zach: Quick, Trey. Catch up
Corn: Trey, is it true you dont hang out with guys under 6’4″?
Trey: i told matt my idea, then left for a meeting
Corn: discuss
Jared: I asked Stuart Scott the same question and he was all “Levitation, holmes”
Trey: my best man was 6’8
Corn: since when did Marcus Thornton become NBA starter material?
Rob: Trey, you missed gratuitous references to your men’s league championship team
Jared: who is Marcus Thornton?
Trey: not tyte
Corn: i mean, kid was alright last year at LSU, but c’mon
Zach: It’s all we’ve been talking about
me: But yeah, no, I’m not kidding. Marcus Thornton is going to be very, very good.
because he can rebound.
Rob: Marcus Thornton will probably be worthy of starting by midseason, but no way he’ll actually start
me: and run the floor
Corn: alright, ill give it a chance before i h8
Rob: I actually like Thornton an awful lot
me: Peterson’s used up
Peja can’t start
Zach: What’s the difference between Marcus Thornton and Lester Hudson? I know there’s a difference but what’s REALLY the difference?
Corn: true
ouch
Jared: You guys are making these names up
me: cooler name
Corn: below the belt, Harper
Rob: still don’t understand why they traded away Rasual Butler
Trey: doesnt matter
Rob: not that he’s great, but he’s something
Trey: hes’ Rasual Butler
Zach: Because they were fooled by the genius that is Mike Dunleavy
me: Thornton’s frame makes him seem like a bulldog. Dude’s just thick.
Jared: I can’t be the only one that’s still furius that Rasual’s name doesn’t rhyme with casual
me: their big problem is Hilton Armstrong still gets minutes.
Corn: no, you arent
yeah, no quality big depth
which kills you in the West
Jared: The Hornets are terrible
Zach: There’s no way Hilton Armstrong gets burn on Trey’s rec league team, right?
Corn: plus, who can actually score off the bench
me: NEW TOPIC: Sixers. BE FUNNY.
Trey: have you seen lou williams head?
it points backwards
Zach: Here’s something funny: Lou Williams is the starting point guard.
Corn: Samuel Dalembert = best contract in the league
Trey: sam dalembert is garbage
Corn: dont call him Sam
Zach: Sam Dalembert is the all-time leader in goaltends
Corn: very useful stat… in Nerf basketball
Rob: Elton Brand is going to executive produce a documentary about how bad the Sixers are
Trey: only because he has a headstart on tyrus thomas
Zach: Corn, he’s not dignified enough for a Samuel and he’s definitely not a Sammy. It has to be Sam
Trey: is he haitian?
Rob: somehow Canadian, right?
Trey: can never remember which one is canadian and which on is haitian, between him and jerome moiso
Corn: Matt, how good is Iggy gonna be this year?
Rob: all I know is that when I think Canada, I think Sam Dalembert
Jared: He’s Haitian
Zach: I feel like everybody is Canadian
me: what’s iggy’s usage going to be this year? 50%? 70?
Jared: Young Thad is better than Iggy and I’ll never believe different
Zach: Agreed
Rob: that’s a bit of a stretch
Trey: they both are easily replaced
me: I’m going to try and get off Thiggy and quit trying to beat him with a blog machete
Corn: can anyone on Philly shoot better than 30% on 3s?
me: Kapono
Trey: if those are your franchise guys, Whoops
Corn: thats right
forgot about Kapono
Rob: Sam Dalembert
Trey: primoz brezec is a 76er
Corn: any words on how Jrue’s been during the preseason?
me: note to self, need to make “Kokomo” Kapono joke.
Zach: You’re high
me: Jrue’s been off. not good. at all.
Trey: feels like primoz brezec loves the four cheese quesadilla from taco bell
Jared: how do I pronounce “Jrue”?
Trey: ja-rue
Rob: almost like Drew
Corn: i thought he was massively overrated in the draft, but without ANY SINGLE PERSON capable of playing point, i figure he’s gotta get some burn
pronounce like “primoz”
me: Jrue’s in the opposite situation from Collison. Collison: Coach loves him, aklsa bout him being awesome, won’t play him. Jrue: Coach says he sucks, he plays badly, coach plays him 20 min
Jared: biting of Ja Rule if ya ask me
Trey: point guards arent super important for Eddie Jordan
PM me: Ja-Rue featuring Jennifer Lopez.
Corn: neitehr is winning
Trey: yeah, because his wizards teams werent great?
me: Mareese Speights is good.
or will be
someday
maybe
Rob: love Speights
guy can score
Corn: Mareese Speights… talked about a possible last second replacement as an all star in 2017
Jared: Forgot Sinbad was coaching Philly
me: need to watch Sixers-Wizards just for Vale v. Speights
Zach: Would love an official ruling on his name pronounciation.
Corn: Philly wishes Sinbad was coaching them
Trey: h8 u javale
me: Corn, you are aware Eddie Jordan is a good coach, right?
Rob: you guys remember that movie House Guest?
Trey: ma-reece spates
me: with Steve Martin?
Zach: Yes!
Rob: Phil Hartman/Sinbad
Zach: Phil Hartman
Corn: House Guest > Tango and Cash
Trey: bad 90s movie? zach’s all over it.
Jared: feel good dentistry-based comedy of the 80s
Corn: House Guest < Tango and Gash
Rob: House Guest > Overboard
Corn: every movie ever > overboard
Trey: every movie that youve mentioned has been painfully bad
me: NEW TOPIC: ROCKETS.
Zach: Corn, there’s no way The Proposal is better than Overboard
Jared: Tango & Gash 2 was better
Rob: speaking of painfully bad
me: Trey and Corn are in a H8r club today
Rob: actually Rox aren’t that bad
Trey: such a rockets fan
Trey: i even actually kind of like the new alternate jerseys
Rob: ditto
Zach: Is Aaron Brooks scoring lower than 19 ppg?
Jared: Battier + Ariza = Happy Face
Corn: Moore, who is better: Ariza or Ty Thomas?
me: I feel like the Rockets are going to win 40 games and we wont’ have any idea how.
though Ariza sucks.
Trey: ariza
Jared: Rest of the Rockets – Aaron Brooks = Sad Face
Trey: not great
aaron brooks
not great
Zach: We can agree Ariza really isn’t that good, right?
Trey: yes
Jared: I will not agree with that
Corn: im with trey, brooks is overrated
Zach: Nice role player but c’mon…
Trey: well, you should
Rob: Brooks and Ariza are both not that good
me: Ariza: bad handle, not a great lifetime shooter, not a great on-ball defender, fouls too much
Corn: brooks is good, especially given his size, but overrated
Zach: I think Brooks is overrated as well. But he’s going to score a lot on that team
me: Brooks is pretty damn good.
Trey: no
me: fast, can score, good vision, good handle
Trey: just pretty good
Rob: wait for the smoke to clear, Matt
Jared: great jacket
Corn: whos in the post for them?
hayes?
Zach: Bad passer, can’t defend
me: not great
but good
Rob: little vision to speak of from what I’ve seen
Zach: Scola
Trey: scola
Corn: who’s the guy with the really long arms that trie dto hold out for $ last year?
Trey: is on my list of guys that are super fresh, but arent awesome
Zach: Landry?
Corn: Carl something?
landry?
yeah, thats right
i liek him
me: I like Scola
Trey: he’s tough
me: effiicent
Jared: They got Pops
Trey: there is nothing bad about scola
Zach: Conspicuous.
Trey: pops, cmon
Rob: oh Matt, you mean when YOU TALKED TO LUIS SCOLA IN REAL LIFE AND YOU’RE BEST BROS?
me: are we talking about scola or dick tracy?
Corn: +1 Rob
only Trey is tall enough to interview Scola
Trey: feel like chase budinger is going to be hilarious
Jared: Is Chase Buddinger worth a damn?
Corn: Scola was best man at Trey’s wedding
Zach: Chase Budinger is like Brian Scalabrine light
Rob: 6’4”, I think I’ve got the height chops for the interview
Trey: my best man looks so much like scalabrine its ridiculous.
me: NEW TOPIC: DE-TROIT BASKET-BALL
Corn: Chase Budinger could end up being the white(er) Shane Battier
Rob: Ben Gordon lawlz
Zach: I disagree, Matt. Nobody ever wants to talk about this team
Trey: whoops, ben gordon is your best player
Rob: NEXT
Corn: JOE DUMARS IS A GENIUS AND I WANT TO SCREAM IT FROM MAJESTIC MOUNTAINTOPS
Trey: feel like matt should have to post our conversations from last summer re: Buford vs. Dumars
Corn: ha ha ha
Zach: I thought they were making a joke when they brought back Ben Wallace. I even wrote it in my journal that day, “Joe Dumars made a very funny joke today.”
me: I was very wrong, Trey.
Trey: you still write anchorman jokes in your journal?
Corn: Zach keeps a journal – also a very funny joke
Zach: It’s nothing but Anchorman quotes.
Rob: god, that movie is awful
3Corn: when did ron burgundy talk about bringing back Ben Wallace?
Tango and Gash = Anchorman
Rob: Ben Wallace is a better movie than Anchorman
Trey: feel like everyone on the pistons would be better on a different team
Zach: It’s not really a journal. It’s more of a web log. I call it a “wlog”
Corn: Trey’s right
Jared: does everyone hate Rodney Stuckey now?
me: How did that team go from being so good at defense to being as bad as they will be this year? how does that happen that quickly? Taht really got out of hand, fast!
Corn: do you pronounce”wlog” like “Jrue?”
Trey: i have to defend anchorman here
me: agreed.
Trey: id say its probably a top 10 comedy of the 2000s
Rob: Anchorman has essentially three funny parts
me: Rob just doesn’t like it because he wasn’t born when it came out
Rob: other than that, it’s tripe
christ
here we go again
Zach: Tripe? When did Siskel take over Rob’s computer?
Trey: the only problem with anchorman is that people STILL quote it a lot
Corn: Rob, why do you use 75 year old man words when you are only 13 years old?
Zach: Rob is 13?
me: it’s gotten to the point where I quote it without thinking about it and then am sad I did.
PM Rob: it’s okay guys, I’ll just sit here while you guys discuss Napoleon Dynamite and Zoolander
Trey: can we chill out on will bynum guys?
i mean, i like him
but
me: will?
Trey: he’s 27
Corn: Hung > 2009 Piston
s
Zach: I don’t know what a Will Bynum is either.
Corn: rob is 302
Trey: he’s a nice scorer off the bench
and he looks very grizzled
Rob: exactly
Jared: He’s not even the best overrated Bynum in the League
Zach: I get confused between him and Will Solomon.
Corn: Will Bynum also got a couple MIP votes from the ESPN “experts”
me: ahem.
D-LEAGUE!
Trey: ahem
Rob: Bynum won’t be MIP, but the dude can score
Trey: chicago
Rob: not very versatile, but come on
Zach: Everybody that isn’t a Collins brother can score in the NBA
Rob: give him some credit for what he does in the time that he doe sit
disagree, Zach
Trey: played in tournaments against him in high school and wowsers
Corn: i just imagine Ben Gordon walking about Detroit oen day and just getting sucker punched by some angy, laid off machine worker
Rob: Corey Brewer
Zach: You know who else got credit for that type of thing, Rob? Mike James. Where did that get all of us?
Corn: and you know what, he deserves it
3Trey: im with rob, he’s a good scorer
Jared: Disagree Zach. Kevin Ollie has never scored a point in the NBA. True story
me: everyone wants every player to do a hundred different things. doing one thing well is fine for a rotation player.
Rob: I’m not even sure what happened with Mike James
what happened to that guy?
Corn: Kevin Ollie – 26 teams, 0 points
Zach: he tricked us all
Rob: did he get Space Jammed?
Trey: that being said, he’s still the fourth best guard on the pistons
i think mike james is a wizard
me: NEW TOPIC:OKC Thunder.
Corn: LOVE
Zach: They’re not making the playoffs
Trey: chill out, OKC thunder fans
fun team
Zach: they’re not winning 37 games
they’re fun
exactly
me: I feel like media/bloggers have higher expectations for them than fans
Jared: I also think they are fun
Trey: maybe you’ll win 50 games in 2 more seasons
Zach: They’re the Odom-Miles Clippers of this generation
me: would make playoffs in East.
Trey: bingo, zach
Corn: i bet if you ask all the bloggers on the THN who their second favorite team in the league is, 60% would say OKC
Trey: wish your name was Zatch
Jared: Jeff Green is your second best player. Calm down
Zach: Didn’t we already do that, Corn?
me: I like Jeff Green.
Zach: Trey, you can call me Zatch
Corn: did we?
Trey: actually Corn, they did that, and no one picked OKC
Corn: false
they were lying
Trey: is jeff green even their second best player?
me: I also like Westbrook. Worried Harden’s not going to be good. Love Weaver.
Trey: harden > weaver
Jared: probably not, no, Trey
Corn: “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: OKC Fans”
Zach: Russell Westbrook playing point = painful. Russell Westbrook playing basketball = fun.
Trey: just realized that harden is super jacked. thought he was fat.
Corn: I just think Harden is too slow
me: now I’m drawing a blank. Whos’ OKC’s second unit?
Trey: collison
Corn: but Moore told me he thought Harden was Manu-lite
Rob: Thabo
D.J. White
Zach: Harden is only like 20 yrs old. He’s 4 years older than Rob, I think
Trey: earl watson
me: never said that
Rob: Earl Watson is gone
Indy
Corn: where did Wilcox go? I forget
Jared: It might involve a guy from Switzerland
Trey: big loss
Zach: Pistons
Trey: bj mullens
me: I like Wilcox on the Pistons. Apparently no one else does, which is ifine.
Trey: (actually like bj mullens)
i always like the idea of chris wilcox more than the actual chris wilcox
Zach: Isn’t he trying to be called Byron?
Corn: BJ Mullens was the best man at Trey’s wedding
Jared: Etan Thomas might not do much off the bench but he has a good shot at poet laureate of Oklahoma
Trey: @wayne coyne
me: Where are you okay with Durant shooting from if you’re defending?
Corn: Etan Thomas = Public Enemy #1 in Oklahoma
Zach: If Brendan Haywood doesn’t … ” beat him to the punch” …. huh?
Trey: anywhere
Rob: half-court, maybe?
Zach: 37 feet
Corn: opposite free throw line
Trey: try and throw a hand in his face, it doesnt matter
pull your nipples out, its very distracting
Corn: KD can stand at midcourt and touch both baselines with his arms outstretched.
FACT
me: basketball: finger snip
Zach: Dwyer or Durant?
me: ER. BASEKETBALL: finger snip scene
Trey: i wish ricky rubio was a thunder
i wish ricky rubio was in the nba
Corn: yep
Trey: mostly as a thunder
Zach: I would like to request we don’t discuss Ricky Rubio
me: Dwyer can stand at midcourt and touch both baselines with his knowledge of bass lines.
NEW TOPIC: MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES.
Rob: PUN ALERT
Zach: Great
Rob: oh Ricky you so fine
Trey: worst offseason of the offseason?
Rob: probably
Zach: How did getting rid of Kevin McHale make the franchise worse?
It doesn’t make sense
Jared: Bad offseason or baddest offseason?
Zach: And seriously, Reggie Theus is an assistant coach?
Corn: Injury Report: The T-Wolves are out with an offseason
Zach: Seriously?
+1 Corn
Trey: how is Al Jefferson’s leg bones?
because that’s a sentence
Zach: Great but his Achilles isn’t so hot
Jared: knee bone’s connected to the dick bone
Trey: is Jefferson out?
Zach: Indefinitely
Jared: is Jonny Flynn any good?
Zach: No
Trey: no
Zach: he’s fun
but he’s not good
Trey: no
Rob: that depresses me
Corn: Case in point for almost white bigs: do NOT ride in the Phoenix Gorilla’s van or your leg gets snapped in half
Trey: seems like a chill bro
Jared: Brian Cardinal: Break-out year?
Zach: Doing what?
Trey: so no jefferson
no love
Corn: seriously, do a commerical with JVG and the Phoenix Gorilla (Blake and Love) and you get $*#@ed!
Zach: You mean play basketball?
Trey: no mike miller
no randy foye
me: nobody knows their sorrow.
Trey: outside of ramon sessions, is there an NBA caliber player on the wolves
Zach: Oh but they got Ramon Session. Oh joy. Oh bliss.
I like Wayne Ellington
Jared: Looking at this roster makes being a Pacers fan less horrible
Trey: racist
Rob: Wayne should be fine
Trey: at what?
me: Love to Wayne should be fun.
Zach: When the acquisition of Ryan Hollins makes me happy, they’ve officially decided to become a D-League team. No offense, Matt.
Corn: if i see “Make it Wayne” shirts start popping up at the Target Center, Im lighting that place on fire
Rob: that should make Matt happy
a D-League team finally joined the big boys
Trey: right down to the uniforms
Jared: I feel like Wayne Ellington should be playing piano — but that’s probably I associate him with Duke Ellington and I”m racist
Zach: Is it true that Oleksiy Pecherov was an extra in Men In Black?
me: I’d be up for relegation, Wolves go down, Flash come up.
Trey: that’s not true, zach
Corn: +1 Moore
Trey: he was like rob’s age back then
Zach: Good point. Must’ve been Tony Shaloub
Corn: Men in Black < Overboard
Jared: NIghtmare Ant will not be overlooked, Moore. Keep one eye awake when you sleep.
Trey: when tony shaloub played for LSU, his name was tony shachrisjackson
Jared: *open even
Corn: can you actually keep an eye “awake”?
me: NEW TOPIC: Toronto Raptors
Trey: more like, do eyes ever sleep
Corn: thank god
(or rather, thank Moore)
Zach: When does everybody realize Marco Belinelli is bad at his job?
Corn: I know absolutely nothing about the Raptors: time for a water break
Trey: kinda think that the raptors are going to be good enough to get people to think they can challenge in the east, when they really cant
Zach: Can they make the playoffs? I say yes
Rob: Raptors could be bad enough to miss the playoffs
Trey: duh
me: Trey: Raptors are the new Hawks?
Rob: for the record though, I said COULD be
Jared: I like almost everyone on the Raps roster — just not when combined
Trey: maybe
Zach: Are we sure Jose Calderon should be a starter over a kickass backup?
Trey: except with old guys
who would you start over jose calderon
Zach: Nobody on that team. I’m just saying in theory
me: Calderon’s good enough to start if you have enough talent at the other positions
especially with Hedo able to run half-court point forward
Jared: is DeRozan starting?
Trey: calderon is good en general
Corn: did I miss anything?
wha? only Raptors talk. Good
where you just typing in spanish, Trey?
Rob: from what I understand, though, they plan to use Hedo as a more conventional 3
Zach: If DeRozan is starting, then Sonny Weems has been wronged
Jared: also, what is his fascination with capitalizing third letters?
Zach: You should definitely be JaRed
Trey: im willing to bet he didnt pick his own first and last name
me: I love Bargnani. I know I shouldn’t. But he’s so tall. And his shot is so pretty. He’s like an inefficent sports car that doesn’t go very fast but has great cupholders and a nice sound system.
Jared: DeMar’s Yahoo photo is sweet
Trey: lol
Trey: bargnani would be fine if he wasnt the number 1 overall pick
Zach: JaRed wouldn’t even talk to the black(jack) dealers in Vegas
Trey: feel like bargnani should gain a lot of weight and try to emulate the career of mehmet okur
seems like the right path for him
me: NEW TOPIC: SACTOWN. GET DOWN. (few more, gents)
Zach: Oh crap
Trey: no one has anything exciting to say about sacramento
Zach: Tyreke Evans is better than you think. I owe you an apology, Matt.
‘Reke Havoc
Zach: Kevin Martin might be the Shareef Abdur-Rahim of shooting guards
Rob: that makes me sad
Trey: wonder if tyreke evans will ever punch someone in a game
Rob: I figure ‘Reke for more of a biter
Zach: Spencer Hawes isn’t starting over Sean May. Think about that
Rob: like maybe he’ll take someone’s ear off
me: I want to buy a shirt with ‘Reke’s face on it.
Trey: spencer hawes really isnt starting?
Rob: really really
Zach: Not tomorrow night
Corn: Why are the Kings so bad?
Zach: Coming off the bench
Trey: whoops
Zach: Because they don’t have much talent
Corn: we like Evans, we like Martin, we like Shock and Hawes
Trey: casspi seems chill
Zach: They try to trick themselves into thinking Donté Greene is good
Trey: udrih, he is bad
Zach: Casspi is great
and confident
Trey: i think great is being used to liberally
donte greene, i have confidence in
unwarranted
Jared: Paul Westphal, huh
Trey: he needs to be an 8th man that shoots threes from the corner for 10 minutes a game
Zach: Donte Greene is better at Twitter than basketball
He needs to be Steve Novak?
Trey: that’s silly
for now, probably, yeah
Zach: I agree
Trey: and then he needs to work
Zach: I will say this, his defense is much improved from last year. He’s actually trying
Corn: The first Reke/Rose matchup is going to make our heads explode
me: NEW TOPIC: Heat. Turn it up.
Zach: I find it hard to like this Heat team
Rob: no way they’re as good as last year
Jared: I like SuperNintendo
Zach: Feels like a Dwyane Wade injury year
Corn: Moore, was I right or was I really right about Mario Chalmers
Trey: because that’s something you can predict
Corn: Heat = SuperNintendo of the East
me: right about chalmers. how’s that darrel arthur pick working out for you?
Trey: think the heat will be just as good this year
me: I like DeQuan
not just for his name
Corn: not fair: arthur is hurt. Just ask Chip
Zach: Do they benefit from Jermaine O’Neal being in a motivated contract year?
me: also, always think of him as Duckman.
Corn: If Heat get the 4, Spoelstra COY?
Zach: If Heat get the 4, I’ll eat my computer
Trey: no
dwade gets the MVP
Jared: this is gonna sound stupid (just like most of the other things I’ve said), but I think Dwyane Wade is still underrated nationally
Corn: they only benefit from O’Neal being in a contract year in that it is easier to trade him
nope, I agree JaRed
Trey: that did sound stupid
me: ouch.
Rob: Trey is stupid
me: damn.
Jared: did they trade Q yet?
Zach: Are we going anywhere near Michael Beasley?
Trey: i mean
Zach: I feel like I don’t know how to talk about him.
me: Wade loves Q
he and Dorrel Wright are now calling themselves 3-8-5 or somthing on twitter
Trey: i saw a taping of an ESPN show with dwade this summer, and Q was there
Corn: best way to talk about Mike Beasley? Pig Latin
Trey: and Dorrell Wright was there too
Rob: 3-8-5 is pretty dumb
Jared: Q and Dorrell were making pizzas yesterday at Papa John’s
Corn: Beasley = 2008 Roy Tarpley?
Zach: ood-ga o-ta ow-kna
Trey: two things need to be discussed here
jared said dwyane wade is underrated
matt likes daequan cook
please explain
Corn: thak you, moderator Kerby
Zach: He likes Daequan Cook to do what?
Corn: since when are we playing by Bro rules?
me: What’s wrong with cook? And Wade still isn’t talked about like Kobe-James.
hat’s wrong with cook? And Wade still isn’t talked about like Kobe-James.
Corn: tell us how you really feel
Jared: RE: Flash being underrated … Not by internet dorks/NBA insiders … by casual sports fans who think he’s like Nash/KG level
Trey: cook, does nothing but shoot, and then doesnt do that GREAT
me: no, he does it great at times and poorly at oethers
Rob: I’m on the same page with Jared
me: he’s streak
y
Zach: Matt, who’s better? James Jones or Daequan Cook?
Trey: wade, even though he should be no lower than 2nd best in the league, is widely regarded as 3rd
me: I don’t really need every player to do everything really well
his handle’s fine
exactly
that’s the point
Rob: …what’s the point?
Corn: who’s on the 2nd unit for the Heat?
Trey: that makes him ‘underrated?’
Corn: and another question: is beasley still with the team/expected to play?
Zach: He’s playing
Corn: ool – cay
Trey: id be fine with cook shooting a billion threes a game, if he made them more than 37% of the time
Zach: Can Matt edit this entire thing into Pig Latin?
Corn: Double Dare!
me: NEW TOPIC (so Trey can stop hating): LA Lakers
Jared: All I’m saying is it’s clearly LBJ, Kobe, Flash, CP3 in the top 4, Supes at 5 and everyone else quite a bit lower … A lot of people might not put Wade in that
Trey: word up
Zach: The Lakers have a bad bench and nobody seems to realize it
Rob: mmhmm
Trey: that’s an i guess with a heavy eye roll
me: had a bad bench last year
Rob: is their bench that bad?
Zach: Shannon Brown just beat out Jordan Farmar for backup point duties. That’s bad
Corn: Cannot wait for Khloe Kardashian upskirts
Trey: well, shannon brown is pretty decent
Rob: I think I can wait
Jared: Bynum, Brown, Farmar and Walton are all serviceable in that offense
Zach: He’s okay
Trey: yeah
Rob: I like Shannon Brown a lot, and he’s a good point guard for the triangle
Zach: Is Bynum starting?
Trey: he’s better than a lot of backup points, good in the triangle, and a change of pace guy
Corn: MACHINE LIKE KARDASHIAN UPSKIRTS!
Trey: walton is good on the lakers
me: No, they’re going Fisher-Kobe-Artest-Odom-Gasol
Rob: I think their bench is fine
Zach: I feel like Walton is pretty hit or miss
I guess you could say that about a lot of bench players though
me: it’s fine, but only because the starters are so good and can play so many minutes
Corn: i dont think its Spurs quality, but its good enough given the insane talent in the starting 5
Trey: the thing with the lakers bench is that their top guys (outside of bynum) are pretty durable
me: like, Magic 2nd line can beat the bucks, kings, pacers
Corn: damnit Moore! thats my line
Jared: Luke is Luke. Steady. No flash. Few mistakes.
Zach: yes, they are definitely durable
Rob: the guys on L.A.’s bench aren’t great players, but their fine in the system
Corn: echo echo echo cho cho ho ho ho
Rob: I don’t see why Brown, Walton, and even Powell can’t be good enough in the triang;e
Trey: the purpose of the lakers bench isnt to beat the other team, its to keep leads
Rob: it’s not like Phil’s running starting unit then bench unit
Corn: yeah, they have been there long enough and know how to deal with the triangle, which is a major plus against just about every other bench in the league
Zach: I just don’t trust their point guard triumverate
Trey: powell makes a lot of bad decisions
me: yes, but Aaron Brooks, who you all say sucks, whipped them at point and it didn’t matter
Trey: walton makes mostly good decisions
Rob: point guard is definitely the weakest position for the Lakers
Zach: Powell is like a poor man’s hybrid between Ronny Turiaf and Chris Wilcox
me: because of Kobe-Gasol-Odom
Corn: other teams have more talent 6-10, but not players who are as accustomed to a certain system as the Lakers
Jared: and Kobe’s their oldest guy who matters so Mamba, Pau, Odom and Ron can all play 40-42 minutes on any give playoff night if so needed
me: I mean, I get the criticism, because that’s really the only criticism you can muster
Trey: yeah, their point guards are bad, but they just kill things inside
Jared: the triangle doesn’t need a point guard — just someone to dribble the ball up the court
Corn: are there any teams out there big and skilled enough to exploint the Gasol/Odom toughness hole in the middle?
Trey: its like the 90s bulls. terrible point guards, but who cares.
me: “bench is kind of not as good as others” and “Jackson MIGHT not be as good as Popovich, from time to time”
Jared: Ron Harper ran triangle point … BJ Armstrong
Zach: Right but they can’t really defend the point guard position unless Kobe decides to expend energy. Never really been a problem because Kobe doesn’t get tired. But if he ever does…
me: Corn, Gasol’s no longer weak. Dude decided to stop being a weenie :*(
fail. :(
Corn: did you just send me a kiss
Jared: Shannon can guard people
Corn: ?
bigger FAIL
Rob: Shannon Brown is a great defender at PG
me: easy on the “great” with shannon brown
Trey: the magic, can maybe attack the lakers inside, and that’s it
Zach: I think we’re using great a little liberally there
me: dude sees limited minutes and looks good
let’s go easy on “great”
Trey: and they’d have to play howard/bass/lewis
Jared: Fun fact: A chick named Shannon Brown tried to date me in high school
Rob: I’ll take it easy on great when I damn well please
Trey: fun fact: my best man played high schoool AAU with dee and shannon brown
Rob: he’s a better on-ball defender of point guards than most starting PGs in the league
me: NEW TOPIC: Indiana Pacers
Jared: Please don’t
Zach: White
me: hate this team. hate it so much.
Corn: crickets, crickets, crickets, crickets
me: Granger. Hibbert. Everyone else can fall off the earth.
Corn: but you gotta love Tyler Hansbrough – he plays so hard!
Rob: let’s just do a literary criticism using the Tyler Hansbrough dog commercial as a text
Trey: they’re growing on me
Zach: I actually like Hansbrough on this team which confuses me
Trey: i think hansbrough will be fine
Zach: He can score
Trey: yep
he’s got touch
Zach: And finds a way to get things done inside
Jared: Tyler will be decent … not a horrible pick as much as I wanted Jeff Teague or Lawson or Toney Douglas or whatever
Trey: and he does play hard
Zach: Great touch
Corn: Did anyone really think that 3 years out Danny Granger would wake up every morning wishing he were still in the sandbowl that is New Mexico?
Zach: Antawn Jamison type touch
Trey: is he really unhappy?
Jared: HansBro’s shins are messed up .. out a few more weeks … hasn’t played preseason yet
Trey: he can shoot as many times as he want from anywhere he wants
Corn: good for you, JaRed
Zach: I feel like JaRed and Spell Check have really taken off
Corn: is there ANYONE on the Pacers that has any decent trade value (Granger excluded)?
i mean, contract/skills combo?
me: Maybe Rush. Maybe Dunleavy
Rob: Hibbert?
Zach: I feel like teams would want Jeff Foster
Jared: no one except our 2010 pick
Trey: hansbrough
Jared: they just extended Foster two years … kinda hurts his value
Corn: ha
Trey: hansbrough is marketbale and on a cheap contract
that’s value these days
Corn: i mean, is there a possibility for the pacers to make a deal this year that will improve that team in any capacity
me: NEW TOPIC: LA Clippers
Corn: or will it be a conspiracy by the GMs to just not even bother calling the Pacers?
Zach: Blake Griffin is cross-eyed.
Jared: No. The Pacers will not make any significant trades this year
Trey: blake griffin actually looks like those IF THEY MATED things, if you used his parents
Zach: Matt has probably talked to the entire front office in casual conversation. Ask him if the Pacers will make a trade
Rob: Blake Griffin is injured.
Corn: Blake Griffin dunks so hard that his knees explode. Outside of the whole “not being able to play because he’s out with a knee” that is VERY AWESOME
me: NIGHTMARE FUEL
Trey: but seriously
Corn: breakout year for eric gordon?
Jared: Wow. That’s like right out “Mommy, What Will I Look Like”
me: I miss thinking Al Thornton could be good. That was fun.
Zach: Are we allowed to believe in a Baron Davis revival (might be a good band name) or is this like the Odom-Miles Clippers/Durant Thunder type of thing?
Trey: if you took exactly 50% of each parents genes, you would get Blake Griffin
Corn: Science!
me: Davis might not be bad.
Trey: here is my problem with baron davis saying he would play hard this year. he said it while last season was still happening.
Corn: I cannot wait for TSG’s next NBA column
me: You just don’t know. That’s the thing. There’s no way to predict it. I don’t think BP should have even listed him in their charts
Trey: its going to be The Worst
Corn: he finally praised the Clips after 10 years of pissing on Dunleavy/Baylor?etc. and Griffing blows out his knee
its just too ominous
Zach: I’m not sure anymore how good Eric Gordon is. I know he’s good. But I wonder if he’s too short to truly matter
Jared: Gordon can flat score
Trey: he’s a nice second piece
Zach: 6’2″ Shooting guards are tough to figure out
Corn: Baron Davis after first loss: ‘I cannot wait to play hard next season.”
Rob: I thought that at first, Zach
but he gets to the free throw line pretty consistently
me: hey, anybody want a chart on the subject?
Corn: Matt LOVES 6’2″ shooting guards
Trey: he also has the roundest head in the NBA
Corn: good point
the anti- Louis Williams
Zach: He looks like one of the guys from Pinky and the Brain. Just can’t remember which one
Rob: but guys, Gordon is 6’4”
Jared: I would love to go to a club with Ricky Davis and Steve Novak
Zach: I stood next to Eric Gordon (name drop!). He’s 6’2″
Rob: listed 6’4”
is it really necessary to doctor heights?
Zach: Rob, what’s your listed age?
Trey: to the clippers credit, they built right kind of team for a stud power forward
Corn: My driver’s license says im 5’10”
taller than aaron brooks: FACT
Rob: y’know, I’m going to tell my parents about all this
Trey: chris kaman is supposedly healthy
Rob: I don’t appreciate being treated like a child
Corn: I agree with Trey
Zach: I agree with Trey. They absolutely built that team around a stud PF
Corn: they managed to actually make this team work for a star (here’s hoping) like Griffin
Jared: is Craig Smith a stud PF?
Corn: true shame he is out
its not like when Oden got hurt
Zach: Honestly, don’t think Griffin is all that good
Corn: we sorta expected that and knew he wouldnt be lighting up the scoreboard
Trey: why?
Corn: that was more of a “well, now we cant compare Durant and Oden all year”
Zach: Helluvan athlete
Not a great decision maker
not a ton of basketball skills to be great
me: FINAL TOPIC: Grizzlies, Mavs, Wizards, Knicks, all the other teams I forgot.
Corn: but this is really tragis, I hope its not worse than what has been reported
Zach: needs an Amare Stoudemire situation to truly blossom and put up great stats
Corn: nah, forget it
Jared: does anyone like Al Thornton? I feel like his approval rating is 0%
Trey: matt does
that’s it
and al thornton
Corn: Matt LOVES him
me: I did.
not anymore.
he made me have the sads.
Trey: al thornton is like 100
Corn: nope, even al thornton doesnt like al thornton
Trey: and not that good
Zach: Matt, I’m willing to admit I liked him too
Briefly
Rob: 0% it is
PM Jared: He’s 25, but yeah
Corn: twice as old as rob
Trey: he’s maybe as good as glenn robinson’s best
Rob: that’s like twice as old as I am
DAMN
Zach: +1 Corn
Rob: CREEPY
Corn: jinx
;)
Zach: Trey, I feel like that was a shot at me
Jared: I liked him … Never watched the Clipps … found out everyone hates him so now I’m like, ok, I have no problem believing he sucks
Trey: it was
Zach: Dammit
Corn: (for the record, I am not cyber-winking at a minor. Please GOD dont let the MSNBC guy be at my house when I get back)
Trey: only because that’s actually a good comparison
Jared: Have a seat, Corn
Zach: Did Corn just ask Rob out for ice cream?
me: okay, 09-10 in one sentence: GO!
Rob: Yes, I’d love to meet up!
Trey: The pants are eating gorgonzola with the submarine.
PM Rob: nice
Zach: Everyone is going to feel really stupid when it’s Spurs-Magic in the Finals unless that doesn’t happen.
Jared: Every contender has at least one giant question mark and I have no idea what’s going to happne
Corn: Ugliest duo that can legitimately be a Before/After: Steve Blake Griffin
Jared: (but spelled correctly)
Trey: lol
Eddie Jordan Farmar
Rob: beaten
Trey: LeBron Artest
M Zach: Kurt Russell Westbrook
Jared: +1 Trey
Trey: Derek Anderson Varejao
Corn: he… cannot… be stopped
Trey: Brandon Roy Hibbert
Jared: Tango and Cash Warren
me: AND SCENE.

Matt Moore

Matt Moore is a Senior NBA Blogger for CBSSports.com's Eye on Basketball blog, weekend editor of Pro Basketball Talk on NBCSports.com, and co-editor of Voice on the Floor. He lives in Kansas City due to an unbelievably complex set of circumstances and enjoys mid-90's pop rock, long walks on the beach and the novels of Tim Sandlin.