15 Footer 11.25.08

REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:

You Can Put a New Hat On a…Err, I Mean You Can Put A New Mask On…Well, You Can Give a Rhino a Rhinoplasty…Whatever:


Warriors at Wizards

Eddie Jordan. Pretty decent coach, even if at times his offense as unimaginative and his defenses were perpetually lacking. But hey, I’m sure part of that comes with the territory. Still, I come to bury Eddie, not to backhandedly insult him. Switching out EJ is little more than a cosmetic exercise at this point, a little shock that’s supposed to light a fire under this team. But until that fire can magically heal injuries, the Wiz are going to be bad. Bad. Sometimes a team will come out strong after their coach is fired in an effort to prove some kind of point, but from what I’ve read and seen, I don’t think most of the the Wizards had any sort of genuine dislike for Jordan. So where other teams might be motivated by revenge or just a “nah-nah-nah-nah-boo-boo” ethic, I think the Wiz will probably just do what they’ve been doing. Y’know, losing.

Nellie has a new toy to play with, which probably means trouble for the Morrow coming out party. Most of the projected lineups feature Crawford and ‘Buike, Jax and Maggette, and of course, Biedrins. Either way, the Dubs were already this season’s guilty pleasure, and just became even more decadent. Adding Crawford is like diving headfirst into a swimming pool of chocolate. You might feel a little disgusting, sticky, Augustus Gloopy, and genuinely displeased with yourself afterwards, but it just sounded too good to pass up. I just hope that adding Jamal doesn’t distract Nellie from some of the more interesting wings on the team, and instead just sucks the life and minutes out of CJ Watson. I’ll raise my glass to that.

7:00 EST

Breaking News: David Lee to Leave NYC for Akron, Said Market Is Just ‘Too Big':


Cavs at Knicks

We get it, the Knicks cleared cap space. Now can we play some damn basketball? Everyone wants to talk about LeBron in NY tonight, but nobody wants to listen. We’ve had the discussion, it’s over, and we won’t know more until 2010. Except apparently Jalen Rose is clairvoyant or something.

Al Harrington’s scheduled to play his first game as a Knick (I would assume he’s starting), but there’s no word that the Randolph deal has gone through, yet. Sorry, Tim Thomas fans :( But while it won’t be fun to hear all the 2010 jibbajabba, it’s always fun to see LeBron go up against a team that has no one that can even try to match up with him and plays terrible team defense. No interior shot blocking. No perimeter defender that can try to stay in front of him. No cohesive team concept that could possibly limit LeBron from scoring 200 in this game. The only way he has a bad night is if he falls in love with his jumper (which he’s been better at avoiding this season) or if the Cavs get out to an early lead and get some rest for the guy. Otherwise, I’ll eat up Q-Rich’s tears with a spoon.

7:30 EST

This Game Involves the Thunder. I Think You Know How It Ends.:

Suns at Thunder

Now, this might be a slightly more prototypical “rub it in the coach’s face” game, but the Thunder are kind of terrible. Whereas other struggling teams can seemingly produce a single good game (or maybe even two!) out of nowhere, the Thunder aren’t so lucky. With this roster, in order to get the W, they need a superhuman effort from Durantula (going nova) and/or Westbrook (completely locking down), and a complete breakdown on the part of the other team. That’s a bit much to ask for with the youth that goes from top to bottom on this team, and the general lack of talent. So tonight you pit them against the Suns. Phoenix has struggled a little, dropping embarassing games to the Jazz (sans Deron and Okur) and Lakers. But they looked good against Portland and they’ll look good tonight. I don’t really know what to expect from this game, but it seems pretty obvious who’s going to win.

There Will Be a Game Between the Pacers (VROOM) and the Mavs Tonight. That’s All I’ve Got:

Pacers at Mavericks

I have no idea what to expect. The Mavs are finally looking like a team, finally looking semi-competent on both ends of the floor, but they’ve done so against some pretty weak competition. The Pacers on the other hand, have the capability to blitz teams or to roll over and die. So what on earth are we going to witness tonight? Beats me, man. Beats me. You’ve got the Rick Carlisle/Shawne Williams undercurrents, but again: no one cares. Well I mean, some people do, but they shouldn’t. This team hardly resembles the core that Carlisle coached in Indy anyway, and though his firing still seems kind of strange to me, it’s ancient history. Carlisle and his staff have a long season of trying to figure out a plan of attack, and the last thing they should be worrying about is a walk down memory lane.

8:30 EST

This is Exactly Like Enter the Dragon, Devin Harris Style:


Nets at Lakers

“Never take your eyes off your opponent, even when you bow.”
Devin starts out at the top of the key, guarded by Derek Fisher. He dives into the lane past Fisher, whose kung fu has frankly been lacking this season. Fisher is wise, but he has lost a step in his age. If he looks away for a mere nanosecond, Devin can blow by him.

“What’s your style?” “You can call it the art of fighting without fighting.”
Devin has mastered the art of fighting without fighting, using his speed and agility to dart by, around, and between opponents. He uses his elusivesness to get by his defender, and charges the lane. But now he must encounter the first of two giants, two men of extraordinary size and skill. They will not be dispatched so easily.

“A good fight should be like a small play but, played seriously. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when the opportunity presents itself, I do not hit. It hits all by itself.”
Devin’s speed, strength, and body control make him an incredibly unique specimen. But as he counters one giant by changing directions, he finds himself face to face with his final challenge: conquering the mighty helpside shot blocker. He strikes quickly and fearlessly, a fire burns inside him. His feet move expertly, crafting a path to the basket, avoiding contact just enough to get off his layup before being hammered to the ground.

“What are your thoughts when facing your opponent?” “There is no opponent.”
You are wise, Devin.

Lakers still win by 15, though.

10:30 EST

Seth Carstens