Finance is confusing. Even more confusing is the language surrounding finance. Luckily for you, I’ve put together this list of real-life analogies to help you understand the stupidity necessary to illegally use inside information to save $750k when your net worth is greater than two billion dollars.
Mark Cuban performing an illegal trade to save $750,0000 is like…
…Matt Moore praising Marko Jaric for a seven point game after OJ Mayo scores 20 in the 4th quarter to help the Grizzlies only lose by 8.
…John McCain repeatedly criticizing Barack Obama for lack of experience, then choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate.
…Axl Rose forcing every member out of Guns n’ Roses, leaving the band in shambles, then proceeding to get very fat, braid his hair, become a laughingstock and then release Chinese Democracy.
…Corn going to UNC but cheering for Duke.
…me failing to make Tony Parker jokes after he scored 55 points.
…me failing to make Tony Parker jokes after he injured his ankle.
…Time Warner rejecting Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, giving Wilco the rights for free, then releasing the record through its subsidiary, Nonesuch Records.
…Dick Rowe turning down the Beatles because “guitar groups are on the way out.”
…Lamar Odom accepting the Trojan Horse near the end of the Trojan War.
I’m sure there’s other examples too. Feel free to leave them in the comments.