Andrew “MVP DPOY HOF OMG BBQ” Bynum Gets his Cashola


It was only a matter of time, really, but Bynum has finally agreed to an extension with the small market, lottery-bound Lakers.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST FOR A SPECIAL BULLETIN FROM MATT MOORE: Of course he’s worth this money! He’s the greatest center of his time, haven’t you heard? We no longer judge people on whole seasons! Only short bursts! He’s a legend!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Getting The Bynumite locked in at this point can only be a good thing for the Lakers. Yes, yes, Matt, it has to be a bit disconcerting that he barely has more of a track record than Jerome James. But based on his age and just how well Bynum did play during that stretch, they didn’t have a choice. The Lakers had to re-sign this guy, and it was just a matter of agreeing on the dolla dolla billz. A four-year $58 million deal including a team option for a fourth year seems pretty reasonable. Well I mean it’s not reasonable, but for a young center who anchored the middle on a playoff team for awhile, you’re going to have to shell out some dough. The good news for L.A. is that they somehow talked Bynum down from his Iguodalaesque contract demands, even though he probably could’ve held this team ransom for the Crown Jewels. After seeing what happened to the Lakers in the Finals last year, they really had no choice. If they win that series, they’ve got a huuuuuge bargaining chip. But hey, guess what? They didn’t. And yet here we are, and Bynum is still a Laker. Go figure.

Is he some combination of Wilt, Mecha Godzilla, and a physical embodiment of the American way? Ehhhhhh notsomuch. But this guy is far from Stay Puft, he’s still a spry young lad, and he’s shown, even just a little bit, that he can play some basketball.

Seth Carstens