We Don’t Like You So Much, We’ll Pay You $21 Million to Just Go Away


There goes Steph! Waive goodbye, everybody!

Just know that you will be missed, buddy. Personally, I don’t know who’s going to pick up the slack in NY. You lead the team in outlandish interviews and towels on head, for gossakes. I mean Nate Robinson could potentially be the heir to the towel throne, but will he ever be able to make it look as easy as you do (and with such grace!)?

You were supposed to be New York’s great hope, and you were…kind of. You were as insane, as selfish, and as ridiculous as anyone could ever have hoped. I’m not really sure what will become of you, Steph, but I certainly hope that your fortune keeps you in the league. I know that nobody really wants you per se, but someone has to be desperate enough, right? Even if you have to wait until the trade deadline or whatever, I don’t think anything would make me happier than seeing you do your best to fit in on a legit team before the inevitable explosion.

So keep your head up, man. Lie in wait. Biding your time. Foaming at the mouth. Make the list of teams you want to play for (Spurs, Celtics, Lakers, Hornets, Maccabi), stay in shape, and keep your skills (and your lunacy) polished.

Seth Carstens