It’s a Cold, Cruel World Out There


The NBA is a rough place for us fans. It will lie to you, break your heart, turn your world upside down, shoot you in the knee caps and maybe even dunk your hand in a jar of acid.

For today: the non-basketball related basketball injury of one Monta Ellis and the wholesome images of Mario Chalmers and Darrel Arthur set ablaze.

First, Monta decided it would be a good idea to flat-out lie to Warriors management about his ankle injury that supposedly occurred while he was playing pick-up. Well, funny story, but not only is the injury incredibly rare in basketball but he also has some cuts and abrasions on his leg that indicate some foul play. Now, this means one of two things: one, he did get the injury while playing some off-season ball…with a rake. And a cattle brand. In a really thorny bush. Or, dude’s lying. I’ll let you cast your own vote.

Either way, the implications seem like they’ll be marginal. Even if Monta’s in direct breach of his contract, it’s extremely unlikely that he’ll get anything more than a pointed finger and a small fine. This guy’s the new face of the franchise, just got locked up long-term, and is already going to be forced to play out of position to fit the team’s needs. Mullin is more stern than you might expect, but he’s not going to alienate the star.

Then, Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur have been kicked out of camp for reportedly having a bag of the magic plant. But the official side of things seems to indicate that Chalmers and Arthur were actually asked to leave camp due to having a lady friend in their room. This could just be NBA PR smoke being blown up our asses, or it could be a huuuuuge misunderstanding. For what it’s worth, I think they probably did have a girl in their room. That girl’s name just happens to be Mary M.F. Jane, and she’s been causing trouble for all sorts of NBAers lately.

Seth Carstens