Snake Eggs Crazy Pills, We Have a Problem

Hey everybody, this is Rob Mahoney from Upside and Motor (no relation to Ridiculous Upside…unless you count being an illegitimate half-brother) I’ll be tackling some of the NBA news, especially of the breaking variety, ’round these here parts. So sit back and enjoy the show!

Big news of the night: Ron Artest AKA Tru Warier AKA Crazy Pills is now a Rocket. The Rockets send the ghost of Bobby Jackson, a future first rounder, and an unconfirmed player believed to be Donte Green to the Kings. Ziller is rolling over in the shallow grave he just dug for himself.

It was obvious Ron wasn’t in Sacramento’s long-term plans, but you HAVE to think they could’ve gotten something better than the first-round pick of an obvious playoff team and an aging, inefficient shooting point guard. If Donte Greene pans out, then this deal looks a little better for the Kings, but I’d be lying if I told you that it made the deal fair.

You’ve gotta like this trade for the Rockets, if for no other reason than the fact that it only cost them a geriatric, a toddler and a bag full of compost. The only real problem I have is this: who plays for this team in crunch-time? Rafer played some decent basketball down the stretch last season (consider the world stunned), and McGrady and Yao are locks, which means either Scola or Battier is going to be riding the pine. I wouldn’t count on either one of those chaps to complain, but aren’t Scola and Battier both players that you’d want to have on the floor?

This deal definitely makes the Rockets better; I’m just not sure it really makes them that much better. What it does do is make them that much more bat-sh*t bonkers. Can you wait to hear Yao and Ron’s duet rap/r&b/electronica/traditional chinese music album? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Seth Carstens